Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Over the last couple of months, I have been accompanying a very dear friend of mine through his terminal illness. I would describe this friend as “a good man.” He is a really good man - married, faithful to his wife, children and family, God-fearing, and genuinely good to everybody. In more ways than one, he is a model for me. As the end of his life approaches, he shared some of his fears with me. Prominent among them is his fear of standing before God. As a pastor and friend, I know that he has nothing to fear. His life has been right and just. Yet, he says that he is afraid. I have not reached a conclusion whether his fear rises from the religious formation he received as a child, or it is the “Fear of the Lord,” which we know as one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps it is the latter. This latter gift is also called “awe of God.” It means a healthy fear of God.
Today’s first reading, describing the call of Isaiah, is very similar to last weeks reading of the call of Jeremiah. It is these two prophets’ sense of awe that got my attention. Jeremiah protested with God at his calling and expressed his utter unworthiness. Isaiah said to God, “Woe to me, I am doomed! I am a man of unclean lips.” Isaiah’s experience is also very similar to Peter’s experience in today’s gospel reading. Filled with astonishment [awe], he fell at Jesus feet and said, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Today, I would like reflect on the theme of the “awe of God.”
Let me offer three practical implications:
Healthy “Fear of the Lord.”
It is not uncommon for me to meet with people whose fear of God is simply unhealthy. I myself grew up in that way. The only image I had of God was an impartial and impersonal judge. I thought of God as someone who spent all day catching my mistakes. A God who would be pleased with me for the good that I did never occurred to me. I never imagined myself being good enough for God. I was afraid of God in the worst sense of the word. It took me years of spiritual discoveries to recognize that God is so much bigger than my fears. These days, though, there a very contrasting trend. The saying, “God loves us as we are,” is often understood as a God who makes no demands on us. In fact, how dare God make demands on us! We are not the one who stands in need of conversion. We are not the ones who need to move toward God; God comes to us! It is almost as if God is at our service. As common is the unhealthy fear of God, that common is also an unhealthy overfamiliarity with God. Genuine, authentic spirituality lies somewhere in between an unhealthy fear of God and an unhealthy overfamiliarity with God. It is called standing “awe of God,” even as God comes to embrace us. Friends, I love God with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength. However, I do not want this love to make me so familiar to God that I lose the sense of awe. Even as I touch God in bread and wine, may I never do so without the “fear of the Lord.” Jeremiah, Isaiah, and Peter teach me the meaning of “awe of God.”
Awe of the Mercy of God.
In this Year of Mercy, Isaiah and Peter’s experience can also be approached from the perspective of mercy. As Isaiah and Peter become aware of the presence of God, they also became aware of their own sinfulness. The interesting thing is that at the time of their divine-experience, neither Isaiah nor Peter were terrible sinners. Yet, Isaiah says, “I am doomed, for I am a man of unclean lips,” and Peter says, “I am an sinful man.” Isaiah and Peter’s responses can help us in this Jubilee of Mercy. I hear many things said about God’s mercy and I hear many things said about we being merciful. What I do not hear many things said about is the recognition of our own sinfulness. Recognizing our sinfulness is not about whether we have committed big sins or not. On the contrary, it is about recognizing God’s awesome holiness. In comparison to God’s holiness we human beings terribly run short. Whether was have committed big sins or not, we always stand in need of God’s mercy. In this year of mercy, let us not miss out on falling before God like Peter did. The best way to do so is the make it to the sacrament of reconciliation also known as the the sacrament of mercy.
“Fishers of Men.”
My third point is a continuation from my second point. In today’s second reading, Paul, unlike Isaiah and Peter, was a big sinner. As he puts it, though, “By the grace of God I am who I am.” Paul recognizes that it is the mercy and grace of God that transformed him. This is the reason for Paul’s impartial ministry to the Jews and Gentiles alike. The point to reflected upon is simply this - that we are instruments of God’s mercy and not merely our goodness. There is a big difference between the two. God’s mercy is boundless. God’s mercy is unprejudiced. God’s mercy is endless. God’s mercy is just and kind at the same time. God’s mercy is not dependent on who is at the receiving end. God’s mercy is impartial. God is merciful toward all peoples even the ones we do not like. We, on the other hand, can be caught up by our limitations. Our mercy can be limited by our racial, social, religious and personal prejudices. Our mercy comes easier towards the people we like and harder towards the people we do not like. The real challenge of the Jubilee of Mercy is first, to allow the mercy of God to touch us like Isaiah, Peter and Paul; and second, to give God’s mercy like they did rather than give our own limited mercy. May we be merciful like God is merciful.
As we celebrate this Eucharist, let us stand in “awe of God.” Amen.