Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Do you think that Jesus experienced fear? Were there moments in his life where he was overcome with fear? The gospels have no recorded instance of Jesus being afraid. The only instance that we can assume that he was afraid was at the garden of Gethsemane, where Luke tells us that, “He was filled with such agony and prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood.” On the other hand, the gospels have instances of Jesus urging his disciples not be afraid. Just within the last two weeks, twice we have heard that twice. Last weekend, after the transfiguration, he came to his frightened apostles and said, “Rise, and do not be afraid.” In today’s gospel readings he came to the rescue of his terrified apostles and said, “Take courage, It is I; do not be afraid!”
Is Jesus being reasonable when he asks his disciples not to be afraid? He certainly seems to attribute their fear to their lack of faith. Jesus says to the drowning Peter, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Is there a connection between fear and faith? My three homily points are a reflection on this question.
- There is nothing wrong in being afraid. Fear is not necessarily a negative emotion. I think of fear as a God-given instinct or emotion. Fear is necessary for self-preservation. Fear stops us from walking into danger, from being reckless or inflicting self-harm. We must thank God for making us capable of being afraid. On the other hand, fear becomes a problem if our fears are irrational or if fear determines our life-choices. The disciples in today’s first reading had every reason to be afraid. I too would scream if I saw a ghost-like figure, or if I was drowning. My most fearful moment was when I picked up my dad from the bathroom when he had had his first heart attack. I thought he had died in my arms. If I am hearing Jesus right, I understand him to say that faith is critical when we are afraid. When Peter and the other apostles experienced fear Jesus prodded them to become stronger in faith. I believe that Jesus and the scriptures are telling us that there is no way to avoid fear, but that we can manage or overcome fear with faith.
- What is faith when we are afraid? Here is my answer to this question. On the one hand, each one of us has our individual life and everything that makes our lives meaningful - family, work, health, financial wellbeing, social security, our future. On the other hand, there is God - our creator, sustainer, redeemer and destiny. Faith is the precise point where life and God intersect. A person of great faith is one whose life and God are constantly intersecting. Ideally, we want life and God to be so integrated that the lines are blurred. Not all of us are there, though. The disciples were not there either. There are times when fear cripples our life - finding out that you have cancer, that you are going to lose your job, that your child is on drugs, that your marriage is in trouble, that there might be a nuclear war. These are moments that Jesus might say to us, “O you of little faith!” By this Jesus does not mean to belittle us, but rather, encourage us to let God into the situation. It is an invitation to let God into our fear. That precise place and moment we let God into our fears, is the moment of faith.
- How do we grow in this kind of faith? Perhaps, today’s gospel reading holds a clue. Reading the passage very carefully, I realized that Matthew includes a very important detail towards the beginning of this passage. He says that Jesus “went up the mountain by himself to pray.” Jesus constantly brought his life to prayer and brought his prayer into life. In the only recorded instance where Jesus may have been overcome with fear - in Gethsemane - he prayed fervently. On the cross, his life and prayer become one. The answer to the question - “How do we grow in faith?” - is prayer. Like Jesus, faith is bringing our life to prayer and prayer to life. Unfortunately, there is no short cut to the kind of faith that helps us navigate through our fears.
Each week, our celebration of the Eucharist is where life and God intersect. Here at this altar we bring our life to God and from here we take God into our lives. May this Eucharist increase our faith.
- Fr. Satish Joseph