Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time
A few days back, I was in conversation with a very distraught mother whose husband had just sought a divorce. Besides the trauma of a failed marriage and every other complexity that comes along with it, she was very concerned about not being able to receive Holy Communion. She said, “I have been a Catholic all my life. I am sad that I cannot receive Communion.” This happens to be a common misconception about marriage and divorce among Catholics – that divorced Catholics cannot receive communion. I gently explained to her that she was not barred from the Sacraments. A divorce does not bar anybody from the Sacraments. It is contracting another marriage without an annulment that creates problems. Moreover, I said to the mother, “This is when you need God the most. Please, do not keep yourself away from the Church or the Sacraments.” Her road ahead is still filled with difficulty but she was relieved that she would not be alienated from the church and the Sacraments.
Today’s scripture readings take us to the very origin of marriage, family, and the original intention of the Creator. But these readings are also very realistic. They help us deal with issues that come in way of healthy marriages and famlies. Here are my three points for today.
In the Image of the Creator
Even though today’s first reading describes the origin of marriage and family, first and foremost, it tells us something about God. The fashioning of the man and the woman, the gentle life-giving breath, the human longing for friendship and companionship that God put in their hearts, and God fulfilling the need for a suitable and perfect companion, tell us about a personable, caring, loving, good, and faithful God. Because the first human persons were made in the image and likeness of God, God knew the deepest longing of the human heart. God is community (Father, Son, and Spirit) and this is precisely the reason human beings long for companionship, friendship, and community. God knew that Adam felt alone. Marriage and family grew out the nature of human beings created in the image and likeness of God.
As much as the Creation story reveals God, it also tells us much ourselves. Because we are made in the image and likeness of God we are created for community. This also means that in our lives, our relationships, our friendships, we are created to mirror the Creator. Our relationships, both within marriage and outside, are meant to reflect the personable, caring, loving, good, and faithful God.
On the contrary, when our relationships do not reflect the image in which we are created, then we not only compromise our human dignity, but also defy the Creator. Infidelity, disrespect, abuse, taking each other for granted, unforgiveness within and outside marriage are contrary to image in which we are created. These harm our relationships, our marriages, and the human family.
Made for Love
It is in the context of a caring and faithful God that we also reflect on marriage and family in today’s gospel reading. When the Pharisees insisted on the possibility and legality of divorce according to the Mosaic Law, Jesus took them the original intention of the Creator, “But from the beginning of creation….” (Mk 10:6). Jesus stresses that the marital covenant is meant to reflect God’s love and fidelity to God’s people. In the Catholic context particularly, the sacramentality of marriage means that in their marital relationship couples reflect the same love with which God loves humanity.
The holiness and sanctity of marriage, then, really lies in this – that the love between husbands and wives reflect Christ’s love for the Church. Husband and wives are called to love each other as Christ loved the church. Husbands and wives are called to be faithful to each other as God is faithful to people. The relationship between married couples must reflect the same fidelity, respect, and honor that Jesus has for his people. Husbands and wives are called to accept each other, sacrifice themselves for each other, and forgive each other as Christ has done for us. Marriage is a Sacrament because it is a divine reality lived in human flesh.
New Beginnings, New Possibilities
Having set out the ideal of Christian marriage, let us also deal with reality. For many couples, reality turns out to be different than what God originally intended, or they themselves imagined. The distraught mother who sought my guidance said, “This is not how I imagined life would turn out to be!”
The conversation between Jesus and the Pharisees in today’s gospel reading captures the disparity between the ideal and reality. The reality is that friendships and marriages break down. Friendships and marriages can end because of Infidelity, disrespect, abuse, addictions, financial stress, mental health issues, or sometimes, boredom.
Interestingly, the possibility of divorce in the Old Testament was not meant to be a tool for exercise power. In the patriarchal and sometimes a polygamous society, it is true that some men did abuse the laws of divorce. But the original provision for divorce even in the Old Testament was meant to give people, especially women, the possibility of moving on after a difficult marriage.
This is also the case with the Catholic understanding of annulments. Since it is not possible to accommodate divorce within Catholic theology and ecclesiology, annulments become a way for couples to move on in life after a divorce. Both divorces and annulments are undesirable realities. Nobody gets married to get a divorce or an annulment. But life happens. And when life turns out to be different than God’s original intention or how couples imagined it to be, annulments provide the recourse to new possibilities.
I want to save a word for those of us who are single either by choice or not. If there is anybody who is hurting here today, please know, that God holds you very close to God’s heart. Because God cares for you in the same way God cared for the first human persons.
May Christ who comes to us and our homes in this Eucharist help to make homes and families that reflect the care and the love of God.
- Fr. Satish Joseph