Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time
I want to share gut-wrenching stories from my ministry last week. Both these stories are end of life stories, so let me caution you that they are going to pull at your heart strings too.
The first story is the story of a middle-aged woman, who, thirty years ago was involved in a car crash. After thirty years of pain management and dealing with debilitating disability, she had reached a point of no return. Her system was shutting down and the medications could not help her manage the grueling pain. She finally made a decision to tell her family that she couldn’t continue anymore. Her mother and five sisters were present when I reached the hospital to administer the sacrament for the last time. Tears rolling down her cheeks she looked right into my eyes and said, “Father, I just want this pain to be gone!” She knew that this means allowing life to take its course. It hit me hard at that very moment. What does it mean when someone knows that the decision they are making is going lead to death?
Right after I administered the sacraments to this woman, I was at the cemetery with parents burying a baby they lost in miscarriage. There were many, many tears there as well. But the parents and the entire family showed great faith amidst the tears. However, that isn’t my second story.
The second story is the story of a man yet another person I visited last Sunday who was between life and death. He had been struggling with cancer for five years. I visited him at home, sat by his side, and said, “I am sorry that you are ill. You wanted to talk to me. So, I am here.” “Yes!” he said. “I have cancer, and now my life is coming to an end.” With his family gathered around him, he entrusted his life into God’s hands. Once again, I was overcome by that very thought – What does it mean to know that you are going to die?
I share these stories with you today because I wish to celebrate these men and women whose faith and ultimate surrender to Christ is exemplary. I wish I was where they are in their faith. I can only that hope I can have their faith and openness when my time comes. I also share these stories with you because they help us to reflect on today’s scripture readings. Here are my three points for today;
“This Saying is Hard”
Today’s gospel reading is the conclusion of the Bread of Life discourse that we have been hearing for the last four weeks. It concludes with many of his disciples returning to their former way of life and no longer accompanying Jesus. Their experience was simple but real. They said, “This saying is hard; who can accept it?” (Jn 6:60) I think of the woman wanting the pain to end, the parents burying the child they lost in miscarriage, and the man dying of cancer. If I can say one thing about them it is simply this – that life has been hard for them.
Just like the people in today’s gospel reading, like the people in the stories, everyone reaches a point in time when not only is life hard, but faith is hard; Jesus is hard; Jesus’ sayings are hard. However, when life is hard, when faith is hard, when the demands of faith in Jesus becomes hard, we can either walk away or be like the men and women in the stories I shared; like the Twelve, who I am turning in my second point.
“To Whom Shall We Go?”
In today’s gospel reading, the most poignant part is the part, where, having noticed some of his disciples leave, Jesus comes to the Twelve and asks, “Do you also want to leave?” (Jn 6:67). Peter and the Twelve had been witnesses to the events and happenings thus far – the multiplication of loaves, people looking for Jesus, Jesus inviting them to transition from bread to bread of life, the questions people had for Jesus and finally some choosing to leave. Then, Jesus comes to them and offers the Twelve an existential choice. Right at that moment, the apostles stood between eternal life and eternal meaninglessness.
I think of the woman wanting to end the pain and the man dying of cancer – their existence hanging between life and death. At the hardest point life, they were making existential choices. However, they were not choosing to walk away. Rather, they were repeating Peter’s confession of faith. They were saying, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (Jn 6:68).
No matter when life ends; no matter how life ends, this is place where we must find ourselves. The difference between drifting into existential meaninglessness and embracing eternal life depends on this faith-confession. How can we be sure that we won’t walk away? Can we be sure that we too will say, “Master, who whom shall we go?”
“We Have Come to Believe”
There is a second part to Peter’s confession. Not only does Peter admit that Jesus had the words of eternal life, but he goes further to say, “We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God!” (Jn 6:69).
In one sense, Peter confession is John’s work. After all, who painstakingly composed the Bread of Life discourse into a unified and coherent teaching on the Eucharist. The entire gospel of John is composed with one purpose – that those who read his gospel might believe and be convinced that Jesus is the Holy One of God. Numerous characters in John’s gospel – Nicodemus, the Samaritan woman, the man born blind, Mary and Martha, Peter and the Twelve – all come to the same faith and conviction – that Jesus is Holy One of God.
Today, John is inviting us to add our names to the list of people who say, “We have come to believe…” This is not about nominal faith. Rather, this is about faith that is a deep, unfaltering, firm conviction. It is the kind of faith-confession that Peter makes, the kind of faith that the men and women that I encountered last week make. John invites us to live each day confessing “We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God!” If we live each day in this faith-confession, then when we approach the end of our lives, we can also say, “Master to whom shall be go? You have the words of everlasting life!”
At the end of the Bread of Life discourse, we turn our attention to the altar. From this altar, Jesus invites us to walk with him the journey of our lives. Today, every day, and on the day we die, may we say, “Master to whom shall we go? You have the words of everlasting life!” Let us join our voices to that of Peter: “We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God!” Amen.
- Fr. Satish Joseph