Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Do you think that Jesus ever felt frightened? Were there moments in his life where he was overcome with fear? The gospels have no recorded instance of Jesus being afraid. The only instance that we can assume that he was afraid was at the garden of Gethsemane, where Luke tells us that, “He was filled with such agony and prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood” (Lk 22:44). On the other hand, the gospels narrate numerous instances of Jesus urging his disciples not be afraid. Last Thursday, on the feast of the Transfiguration, we heard Jesus come to his frightened disciples and say, “Rise and do not be afraid!” (Mt 17:7). Today, yet again in the gospel reading Jesus came to the rescue of his terrified apostles and said, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid!” (Mt 14:27).
Is Jesus being reasonable when he asks his disciples not to be afraid? For example, during this pandemic, fear is a very natural reaction. What might Christ be saying to us today? Certainly one answer seeks to be the connection between fear and faith. To the drowning Peter, Jesus says, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” What is the connection between fear and faith? My three homily points are a reflection on this question.
- Fear is Normal. Let me make a confession. I do live with reasonable fear these days. It has affected the way I talk, interact, and conduct myself. My biggest fear is for my lovely mother. I just want to be with her again without any of us getting COVID-19. I believe that there is nothing wrong in being afraid. I think of fear as a God-given instinct or emotion. Fear is necessary for self-preservation. Fear stops us from walking into danger, from being reckless, or inflicting self-harm. We must thank God for making us capable of being afraid. On the other hand, fear becomes a problem if our fears are irrational, or if fear determines our life-choices. The disciples in today’s first reading had every reason to be afraid. I too would have screamed if I had to see a ghost-like figure, or if I was drowning. If I am hearing Jesus right, I understand him to say that faith is critical when we are afraid. When Peter and the other apostles experienced fear Jesus prodded them to become stronger in faith. I believe that Jesus and the scriptures are telling us that there is no way to avoid fear, but that we can manage or overcome fear with faith.
- What is faith when we are afraid? Each one of our lives has a myriad of manifestations - family, work, health, financial wellbeing, social security, recreation, our future, our meaning, and purpose. On the other hand, there is God - our creator, sustainer, redeemer, and destiny. Faith is the precise point where life and God intersect. A person of great faith is one whose life and God are constantly intersecting. Ideally, we want life and God to be so integrated that the lines are blurred. Not all of us are there. The disciples were not there either. There are times when fear cripples our life - finding out that you or a family member has COVID-19, that you or someone you love has cancer, that you are going to lose your job, that your child is on drugs, that your marriage is in trouble. These are moments that Jesus might say to us, “O you of little faith!” (Mt 14:31). By this Jesus does not mean to belittle us, but rather, encourage us to let God into the situation; to let life and God intersect precisely at that place. Jesus words, “O you of little faith,” is an invitation to let God into our fears. That precise place and moment we let God into our fears, is the moment of faith.
- How do we grow in this kind of faith? Perhaps, today’s gospel reading holds a clue. Matthew includes a very important detail towards the beginning of this passage. He says that Jesus, “went up the mountain by himself to pray” (Mt 14:23). In today’s first reading, we find Elijah on the top of the mountain Horeb. It was called the mountain of God. There, in a tiny whispering sound, he experienced a presence so awesome, that he hid his face (1 Kgs 19:9a, 11;13a). This is what prayer is – to be on the mountain of God, listening to God’s whisper. Perhaps this is why Jesus withdrew to a mountain or a lonely place to pray. He constantly brought his life to prayer and brought his prayer into life. In the only recorded instance where Jesus may have been overcome with fear - in Gethsemane - he prayed fervently. On the cross, his life and prayer become one. The answer to the question - “How do we grow in faith?” - is prayer. Like Elijah, like Jesus, faith is bringing our life to prayer and prayer to life. Unfortunately, there is no short cut to the kind of faith that helps us navigate through our fears. A prayerful life is the only answer!
Each week, our celebration of the Eucharist is where life and God intersect. Here at this altar we bring our life to God and from here we bring God into our life. May this Eucharist decrease our fears and increase our faith.
- Fr. Satish Joseph