Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time
Those of you who have not heard about ashleymadison.com be prepared to be shocked. It is a Canada-based online dating service and social networking service. There is nothing shocking about this, is there? It is what ashelymadison.com stands for that is shocking. “Life is short. Have an affair” – that is the motto of this website. It is marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship. The website boasted of having 39 million registered users. Most of them were men but the number of women is equally concerning.
Ashleymadison.com really makes me ask one of those questions that I rarely ask – “Where in the world are we going?” Instead of “Life is short. Have an Affair,” why can it not be, “Life is Short. Love your family!” Of course, I bring all this up because today’s first and gospel readings take us back to the very origins of marriage and family. They also make us confront the realities of family life. Today, along with today’s readings, I would like to use Pope Francis’ speech at the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia as resources for my homily. I would like to make three points.
1. The Family: A Fruit of God’s love. Pope Francis began his speech in Philadelphia with a delightful story. A little girl came to him once and asked him, “What did God do before creating the world?” The Pope admitted that he found it very difficult to answer this question. But after a little thought he told the girl, “Before creating the world, God loved. Because God is love.” Then the Pope continued in these words: “He had so much love: Father, Son and Holy Spirit… it was so big, this love, he could not be egoistic. It had to be poured out of him…. And then God created the world. God made this marvelous world in which we live…. All of the love that God has in himself, all the beauty that he has in himself, he gives it to the family. And the family is really family when it is able to open its arms and receive all that love.” Today’s first recalls God’s love that gave birth to the family. It is true, is it not, that sometimes we can get so immersed in the daily grind that we can forget that family is first and foremost about opening our hearts and receiving love? Yes! Life is short. So, welcome God’s love into the family just a little bit more. Pray together, eat together, have fun together. Yes! Life is short. Love your family and everybody in it just a little bit more!
2. Get Real. The second part of Pope Francis’ talk begins with another good story. When the Pope speaks about the family and God’s love, he says, people come to him and say, “Father, you speak like this because you are single.” But the Pope was not unrealistic in his reflection on the family. He spoke about the difficulties that families have. Referring to the first sin of our first parents and the first fratricide, the pope acknowledged issues ranging from divisions in the family, to quarrels, to divorce, to the challenges of raising children, the challenges of taking care of the elders and financial burdens that families endure. And then there is ashleymadison.com. Actual and fantasized infidelity is real and it continues to wreck homes. Yet, the Pope believes, that those difficulties can be overcome with love. Only love, he says, can overcome any difficult and only love can help families move forward. I believe the Pope is very right here. In my own pastoral ministry, when families with difficult marriages come to me, the first question I ask them is, “Do you still love each other?” Even if there is a small spark left, that marriage can be saved. But if love is lost, then it is very hard. I advise couple to seek help before love is lost. Love can solve many family problems.
3. Tenderness. The family was such an important part of the Pope’s visit that in his address to the bishops the next day, instead of addressing administrative and canonical issues, he continued his reflections on the family. Among the first things he suggested to the bishops was a positive outlook. He said, “the family is not first and foremost a cause for concern, but rather a joyous confirmation of God’s blessing upon the masterpiece of creation.” I think what he means by that, perhaps is, that we can focus too much on the negatives and thus lose sight that a family is about love and joy. Even as things like ashleymadison.com can shock us, we must not lose sight of “so many families who, even amid difficult trials, remain faithful to their promises and keep the faith.” He asks us pastors to show that the “Gospel of the Family” is truly “good news.” In other words, as pastors, our love toward a church family must be an example. My favorite part of the talk was when he asked the bishops if “in our pastoral ministry we are ready to “waste” time with families.” The one virtue he asked that us to have was “tenderness”.
Let me conclude my third point by saying two very simple things. Ashleymadison.com made headlines recently when hackers got hold of the database and released it to the world. Can you imagine the trauma this has created in 39 million homes? We pastors have to show tenderness and love toward families that hurt because of infidelity. Second, in today’s gospel reading, Jesus says, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” In his address to the families, Pope Francis asked that special care be given to children and the elderly. I am sorry to say that because of the child abuse crisis, many pastors simply stopped interacting with children. They stopped visiting the schools in the parish and even visiting homes. I think this is a loss. It is a big loss. I am committed to nurturing our families, especially the children and elderly. And even when I have to contend with problems in families arising from infidelity, I promise you tenderness.
Today, let us bring our families to the altar and present them to Jesus. May God bless our families. And remember: "Life is short. Love Your Families."
- Fr. Satish Joseph