The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
Since the Synod on the family convened by Pope Francis was held this October, I have to admit that the conversation about the family has changed dramatically. Not that the Synod changed our understanding of families but there is a greater acknowledgement of the challenges that families face. The greater contribution of the synod was to look at these challenges more pastorally and compassionately rather than legalistically. The work of the Synod is not over. It will meet again in Oct 2015 not only to complete its work but also to provide a cohesive teaching on the family that is acceptable to all sides in the conversation.
Today, I would like to offer three points for us to think about.
1. The Context. As the Synod observed, the contexts in which families find themselves are varied and complex. On the one hand, the context is the place and role of traditional families. Many people surely find themselves very blessed to be in such families. On the other hand, as the Synod’s final message said, enfeebled faith, indifference to true values, individualism, impoverishment of relationships, stress, children with special needs, aging, poverty, migration, and violence continue to exert immense pressure on families. The context is also a large number of divorced and remarried Catholics who find themselves excluded from the internal life of the Church. The issue is further complicated by the process of annulment, which, in reality, is meant to uphold the inviolable bond of marriage. However, what is meant to uphold something positive can also become a cumbersome process. Perhaps even more complex is the issue of the definition of marriage. The very traditional definition of marriage as a monogamous life-long covenant between a man and a woman is in question. The Synod has outlined these issues as its pastoral concerns. I am sure that the Synod will make a special attempt to respond to these pastoral complexities.
2. The Ideal. Today we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family. The gospel reading tells us about Jesus’ family. As the account of the presentation at the temple suggests, they were religious and God fearing family. Their life was not free of hardships and uncertainties, yet they worked it all out with faith in God and fidelity to each other. In many ways, this is the ideal set before us. How we all wish that our families would be like the family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Some families are indeed like the Holy Family and thank God for that. It tells us the ideal is achievable. But as I look at my own family, we are hardly the ideal or the holiest family around. We all have expectations of each other that we find hard to fulfil. And it sometimes leads to discord. Perhaps, many of your can associate with that. For others, it is not just simple discord, but domestic abuse, addiction, financial stress, infidelities, hurts and the unwillingness to put the past behind. This leads to divorce, remarriage, and the resulting complex family issues. The synod is suggesting a more compassionate approach in dealing with people and families that are struggling. On the other hand, he is asking to avoid “deceptive mercy.” In other words, the Synod is saying that no matter how far families find themselves from the ideal, the church should never exhorting people to strive toward the ideal. Moreover, each family must strive be holy if not perfect.
3. The Call to Holiness. Today’s readings do not leave us helpless about how we can strive to be holy albeit imperfect families. Both the first reading and the second reading has some very practical advice to offer. In the first reading, Sirach exhorts children to treat their parents with respect and take care of them in their old age. Paul is even more specific. He says, “Brothers and sisters: Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.” Here is the bottom line. Our families do not have to be perfect to be strive toward holiness. Holiness does not mean the absence of problems, but rather, it means that we face our imperfections with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. In this way, as imperfect people we can all strive toward the ideal.
At this Eucharist, let us place our families at the altar. And may God's peace and goodness be in our homes. Amen.
- Fr. SAtish Joseph