Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
Today is the feast of the Holy Family. The very word ‘family’ evokes mixed feelings. On the one hand, our family is our most prized possession. On the other hand, each member of our family is unique and different. Some of them are more unique and different than others. Every family has at least one person who is more than a challenge. You have yours and I have mine. I call home every day to speak to mom and dad. On Christmas day, I called home twice, both because my parents are by themselves, and because I really missed them. Dad hardly spoke two sentences the second time I called, and said, “We are praying the rosary. We will talk to you tomorrow.” And he hung up! I said to myself, “Thanks for calling!” If we could all tell our family stories right now, we would be here all day. Don’t you think?
The feast of the Holy family was instituted by Pope Leo XIII only in 1893. It was extended to the whole Roman Church by Pope Benedict XV only in 1921. Just as with Christmas, it is easy for us to romanticize the Holy Family and see it as a perfect family. Today’s gospel and the stories of the childhood of Jesus tell us that there was little to romanticize about. Jesus was born into a poor family and in a stable. The family of Jesus was not privileged in any way. They fulfilled the same religious obligations as other Hebrew families did. To make things worse, they had to flee to Egypt to escape persecution. Later when they returned to Nazareth, Jesus strayed from his family and got lost. And when his parents found him three days later, he seemed least concerned about their anxiety. Yes, he was engaged in the noble task of debating with the elders in the temple, but his reply to his mother as presented to us in the gospel, leaves much to be desired. He reminds me of a typical teenager today. Mary was almost snubbed again at the wedding at Cana and then again when she came looking for him. Jesus said, “Who are my mother and my brothers and sisters?
But then the gospel also give us equally heroic accounts. His mother and father present a picture of complete compliance with God from the moment of his conception. Mary was full of grace and Joseph was a righteousness man. They stood united in the most difficult of times. Mary and Joseph fulfilled all the religious obligations toward their son. After the episode in Jerusalem, Jesus went back home and was obedient to his parents. He grew in age and wisdom with them. At the wedding at Cana he did obey his mother. Jesus again cared about Mary at his death and entrusted her to one of his disciples.
In other words, the picture we get from the gospel accounts of the Jesus’ family is that it was like your family and mine. A holy family does not always mean a perfect family. A holy family does not mean a family without problems and challenges. A holy family does not mean a family without tragedies. Rather, a holy family means a family that keeps God radically in focus. A holy family means that through thick and thin each person tries his or her best to live out their commitment to God and to one another. In the case of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, they are exemplary models in this.
On this feast day, my three practical implications come from my recent experiences. I hope to incorporate today’s scripture into it as well.
a) Taking care of the aging and aged. Today’s first reading begins with the words, “God sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and preserves himself from them.” And again it says, “My son, take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives.” My dear friends, these days I deal with aging parents. And I am sorry to say that no one prepared me for this. I learnt it the hard way that taking care of your aged and aging parents is a privilege and not a burden. After my father had his first heart attack, I wanted the change everything for him. I wanted to change his eating habits, his life style, his social life and even his thinking. I lost patience many times with him and I even felt disappointed with him. I realized very late and through much struggle with him that my job is not to change him but merely accompany him. I realized it late that I must as be as patient my mother and father as they were with me when I was an irrational, crabby and wailing baby. I wish I had learned earlier that aging and aged parents are a blessing to us, a privilege to us. In my ministry I see too many elderly people with children surviving, suffering, and dying alone. There are many family members and relatives who cannot wait for the elderly to pass away so that they get a financial break. Too many aging and aged people feel abandoned today. Today’s scripture tells us that to be able to take care of the aging and aged is a gift.
b) A word for the young. The last but one sentence of today’s first reading says, “… kindness to a father will not be forgotten.” My emphasis is on the word kindness and I want to address the teenagers and youth present here today. I am fourty-seven years old. Those of us who are reaching middle age or are already there, have the awesome privilege of looking at two diverse generations – our parents and our budding youth. We want you young people to know that we take you young people very seriously. You are not just the future of the church and the world – you are the church and the world. We take you seriously. We understand your angst about your physical appearance and your desire to be liked by your peers. We understand why sometimes we might be an embarrassment to you. We’ve been there and done that. But we do take you seriously. But more than that, we want you to take YOU seriously. We want to see you grow intellectually, spiritually and humanly. The sure sign of such growth besides good grades is kindness, respect, concern, gratitude, sincerity, simple honesty, self-respect and appreciation for others, the ability to take responsibility, to work hard, and the courage to say “I’m sorry.” Please do not lack in these things. We could do with less attitude and more understanding. Most of all, we want to see God having an important role in your life. And if we are bad example, challenge us on this but do it with respect and love. Remember, one day you will be our age and you will have kids your age to deal with. Do to us what you would want your kids to do to you.
c) Thirdly, we can think of our family as narrowly or broadly as we want. The home consists of a family, the church is a family, society can a family, the nation can be our family and we are also a global family. No matter how we imagine ourselves as a family, Paul has some very simple advice in reference to husbands and wives that can be applicable to all of us and in all situations. He says, Brothers and sisters: “Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful.” Whether it is at home or as global citizens Paul’s advice can make all the difference. Paul’s advice is the key to being, not necessarily a perfect family, but surely a holy family.
Today, let us bring our families before God and pray, not that we can be the perfect, but that we can be a holy family. Amen.
- Fr. Satish Joseph