Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time
I remember this incident very clearly. I was in my moral theology class in the Seminary. The professor began his class by asking all of us to write our epitaph. I wanted mine to be the best and the most impressive. I remember thinking hard for a minute and finally wrote down the words: “Here lies a man who lived his life to the full.” I was so convinced that everyone in the room would want to copy my epitaph. When I shared my epitaph with the class, I did not hear the ooohs and the aaahhs I was expecting. The professor passed on to my friend sitting next to me. He had merely written, “Here lies a disciple.” Not only was I highly embarrassed at my own epitaph, but that was the single most life changing moment of my life. It is 20 years since then. Disciple – this word haunts me today as it did that day.
In the days that followed that class, I began to devour the gospels. The best thing about discipleship for me was that it was based in the scriptures. So I read everything I could about Jesus and his disciples. I read passages like the one we have in today’s gospel like a kid opening Christmas gifts. The more I read the more I realized that discipleship was the central call of the gospel. At the age of 24, it was as if I had found myself. I had found my identity. I had discovered the meaning and purpose of my life. I also realized how important it was for me to train myself as a disciple. For this, first I had to know Jesus my master. I had to train myself to think like he did. I had to work hard do the right thing from his perspective. I had to let him speak through me. Discipleship – this was the way of life that would help me to live a meaningful life and somehow lead me to salvation. Now you know why I stress discipleship so much.
Discipleship is no easy task. The conditions of discipleship are rather difficult. In fact, the way in which Jesus communicates the conditions of discipleship, it almost seems as if it is impossible to fulfill the conditions of discipleship. In today’s gospel reading we have just three of the conditions that Jesus put before his disciples. 1. "If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” (Lk 14:26). 2. “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” (Lk 14:27). 3. “Everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple.”
I am sure that one of the first questions that come to our minds is, “If these are the conditions of discipleship, how can I ever become one?” Most of us do not hate our parents; we have not given up all our possessions; and compared to Jesus and all the apostle and martyrs, our crosses seem so light. So I want to use the following three points to reflect further on discipleship. I want us reflect on how we can he disciples today.
1. Discipleship is a decision. Today’s gospel reading has two parables. The first one is that of a person constructing a tower. Would he not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if there is enough for its completion? The second one is that of a king going into battle. Would not first sit down and decide whether with ten thousand troops he can successfully oppose another king advancing upon him with twenty thousand troops? Through these two parables Jesus is telling his audience that discipleship is a deliberate and conscious decision that a person makes with open eyes. Let me give my own example. I lived 24 year years of my life as a Christian. For the first 19 years, I was a Christian because I was born and baptized a Christian. At 19 had even had a powerful experience of God. But it was only at 24 that I made a conscious decision to let the gospel life-style influence and change me into a disciple. My parents taught me the basics of Catholicism; the seminary taught me philosophy and theology. But discipleship… that was self realization and a conscious decision. Here is what I am trying to say. My spiritual life needed to be more that just saying prayers, attending masses and retreats. I was not content letting Christianity happen to me. I need to make Christianity happen in me. I needed to let the message of Jesus Christ deeply affect my thoughts, acts and word. I want to be known as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
2. Discipleship is a life-style. As I read the gospels more and more, I also realized that I must change. I had a certain way of living my life. I realized that I could be very greedy, lustful, self-serving and revengeful. But gradually, Christ’s words began to take a hold of me. I learnt to be generous; I learnt to keep my mind clean; I learnt to be more forgiving; I learnt to trust God to provide for my needs; I began to refuse to use filthy language; I began to long for justice and peace. I began to make love and compassion my hall-marks. Now Christ had begun to have a greater influence on my thoughts, words and actions than anything or anybody. My thinking, my speaking, my priorities, in fact, my life style was beginning to change. Faith, spirituality and Christianity now are not just about praying, saying masses, preaching, and doing good things so that I go to heaven. My faith now is about a life-style – living the way the Christ shows to me.
3. Discipleship is a process. What about the three conditions of discipleship that Jesus lays out in today’s gospel reading? The life of the disciples in the gospels should tell us that no one becomes a disciple over night. Discipleship is a life-project. Discipleship is a process. Discipleship is a work in progress. At 19, I was a nineteen year old seeker. My maturity was that of a nineteen year old. At 44, I am a fourty-four year old disciple. My maturity is that of a fourty-four year old. And in the course of these 17 years, there are times I have been though the roller-coaster ride of discipleship. There are times I have been more radical than others. There are times I have been more faithful than others. Here is the real-deal – that at the end of my life I can say that I loved God more than my father, mother, all my wealth put together, indeed my whole life. At the end of my life I want to be able to say that I was more passionate about God than anybody else or anything else. At the end of my life I want to say that my life was a tribute to God.
From the Catholic perspective our community worship and service is the most authentic sign of a discipleship. Our personal discipleship must reach its climax here in this community. Here we lay our egos, our prejudices, our hurts, our disagreements, our personal agendas and trade it for the one bread and one cup. Here we celebrate who we are. Here we find strength to live out our discipleship. Here we strive to become a community of disciples.
Fr. Satish Joseph