Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

Today's Scripture

As I read the first reading for today’s liturgy, I breathed easy. I relaxed. I felt good. I have read this reading many times, but for the first time I came to a new realization - the realization that God wanted the first human person to be happy and contented. In fact, God went out of God’s way to find a suitable companion for Adam. I guess God wanted Adam to be contented. Isn’t this we seek most – to be happy and contented?  

In the first reading, God is seen trying to provide for Adam’s need for companionship. God formed various kinds of animals and birds from the ground. Neither the beauty of a peacock, the majesty of a lion, the grace of a gazelle, the sound of a nightingale, nor the fidelity of a canine made Adam happy. None of them proved to be a suitable partner for him. And then God created a human person. This person was not formed from the ground but from his own self. “This last is the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh,” exclaimed Adam. God knew that now he was contented. He called her ‘woman.’  The commentary continues to say, “That is why a man leaves his mother and father and clings to his wife…” the woman was not merely a woman; she was his ‘wife.’ And that was the first marriage, as we know it from the Scriptures. Let me draw your attention to one small detail. Describing the first marriage, Scripture says, “That is why a man leaves his mother and father and clings to his wife…” The original for the word clings in “cleave.” In the scriptures the word cleave is only used to describe God’s relationship with people and the people’s relationship with God. It is not used of any other relationship. In other words, marriage is sacred – as sacred and as God’s relationship with his people and vice-versa. Let us change the scene. In the gospel reading we have a group of very discontented people. The Pharisees have destroyed the sanctity of marriage by making it a legal issue. “Is it ‘lawful’ to divorce,” they asked Jesus. They do not fail to tell Jesus that Mosaic law allowed it. Jesus’ responds by drawing their attention to the original intention of the Creator. He said, “But from the beginning it was not so…” God did not intend marriage to be a contract; it was from the beginning a Covenant – like the Covenant that God made with Moses. The purpose and the goal of marriage is not of human making; God has ordained that “from the beginning.”

Three practical implications:

1.     Scripture is reminding us of three things: Firstly, human happiness cannot be found in the self. Human beings are not created to be happy by themselves.  The original intention of the creator is that happiness is found in a relationship, in self-giving. The woman emerges out of Adam, of his giving, of his self. Happiness is found in loosing oneself for another. Happiness is found in giving of oneself to another. This is because God is community… “Let us make man in our image and likeness” (Gen 1:26). There are many expressions of community - committed friendships, the church community, the neighbourhood, society itself. The deepest and most intimate of these relationships is marriage. It is that relationship where self-giving is deepest and because it reflects God’s own life – the most sacred. But we also know that divorce and break up of marriages is a social reality of our times. And what shall we make of it? I know a friend of mine who divorced her husband after  twenty-three years of abuse. I know another friend who did not want to divorce but had to because of substance abuse by the partner. People divorce and seek annulment for infidelity, for irresponsibility etc. Behind it all we must identify the deeper issues. I wonder if some answers for divorce can be found in that fact that marriages break because one of the partners loses sight of the Creator’s original intention. I wonder if marriages break because the partners begin to crave happiness for themselves than the other. The moment a marriage becomes a way to make the self happy, that is the first step to that marriage heading towards a problem. If both the partners are constantly striving to make the other person happy just imagine that relationship. Secondly, marriages break because at some point either the husband or wife begins to ask, “What am I getting out of this?” The moment a partner in marriage stops loosing himself or herself for another, stops thinking in terms of self-giving, that marriage is heading for problem. True happiness can only be found in the being concerned about the other person’s happiness, in self-giving and loosing oneself

2.     Secondly, Happiness is found in treating ‘the other’ as yourself. It is interesting that God made woman out of the rib bone. He did not make her out of a bone in the head so that she may not dominate him. He did not take a bone out of his leg so that he may not humiliate her. The woman came from the side, so that she may walk by his side and be his companion. Children come from the womb, the very centre of the human anatomy. We are created to be equal. God does not create inequality. Any inequality that exists is a human creation and to that extent that is a sin. I heard it on NPR recently that twenty-five percent of all women go though either emotional or physical abuse. Marriages break up because inequality enters into the relationship. The moment partners begin to talk about who is more important or whose decisions are more important, trouble is in sight. When issues of domination, power, or self-interest enters into marriage and it manifesting itself in fights, misunderstanding and even abuse. That marriage is bound to fail. True happiness can only be found in treating each other as equal.

3.     Third, we must reflect on the original intention of the Creator in the gift of sexuality. The Mark Foley case has shocked the nation. Before that, the priests abuse scandal shocked the Catholic community. If you have seen any of Dateline NBC, it really makes you wonder. Pornography is soon becoming the number one cause of marriage break ups. If marriage is sacred, so is God’s gift of sexuality. Modern society has effectively succeeded in desacralizing sexuality or making sex a tool for sensuality rather than a sacred expression of committed love. Our contraceptive mentality is not going to regain the sacredness of sexual expression. Whether with regard to AIDs or teenage pregnancy people talk about safe-sex rather than putting sex in its right context – marriage.[1] Wasn’t that was the original intention of the Creator? As Christians we have the obligation and duty make our children aware of the sacredness of sex. The original intention of the Creator is intimacy not sensuality, responsibility not promiscuity, fidelity not triviality.  In the area of marriage and sexuality and in any area of our lives, to the extent that we move away from the original intention of the Creator, to that extent we are destroying the image of the Creator in us. True happiness can only be found in the original intention of the Creator. 

Probably, there are all categories of people present here today. I am sure that there are those here who have a great marriage. But perhaps there are also those who are struggling to keep it going either for the kids or for the sake of peace. Perhaps there also those who are separated or divorced because there was no other option. And perhaps there are also those are just too afraid to marry because you have been hurt once. I believe that there is no one who understands your pain like God himself.

For those of us whose marriage us great, let the example of Christ in the Eucharist lead us to greater self-giving. And for those of us who are struggling in our relationships, may the Eucharist strengthen us to remain faithful.Amen.