Memorial of St. Andrew Kim Taegon, Priest, and Paul Chong Ha-sang, and Companions, Martyrs
The question that Jesus puts before us is a tough one. We are among those on the path. And we are very fortunate to be on that path. It’s important to be aware that not everyone has that privilege. But to be on the path, to have heard the Word of God, even to understand it is not enough. And that takes us to Jesus’s question: Is your soil rich?
Is my soil rich? Is it well prepared not just to hear the Word of God but to keep it in my heart, to live it every day, to be faithful to Jesus’s teachings throughout my life?
Christians have been asking this question of themselves for at least two millennia. We need only remember St. Augustine and the crisis in faith that drives his Confessions. Sure, he had heard the Word and not just by anyone. He encountered Christian theology and faith through none other than St. Ambrose—bishop of Milan at the time and accomplished writer of hymns (just to name two of his many accomplishments). In other words, Augustine got the Word from among the best Christian thinkers of his time. He believed it, and he desperately wanted to be a real Christian—to be of rich soil.
And he was convinced that he was not the real deal. His soil was not, in fact, rich. He was plagued by what were for him irresistible temptations. Sex being the main one. His recognition that his soil was not rich tortured him.
To be sure, St. Augustine was/is not alone in this recognition and struggle. Haven’t you wondered? Maybe late at night, have you awakened worried that you’re not the real deal? That as much as you’d like to follow Jesus all the way to the Cross, you’re not sure you could?
Well, maybe you haven’t. And God bless you if that is your situation. And God bless all those in your life who nurtured that rich soil with you.
I am not one of those Christians. I don’t know if my soil is rich. Maybe. Or maybe I’m just a Christian wannabe. An imposter.
If so, what am I to do? Is it too late to enrich my soil? If not, what might that mean?
St. Augustine’s experience suggests one answer. It’s conceptually simple, yet very challenging (especially for a guy like St. Augustine!): Let go. Stop trying to analyze it. Stop trying to intellectualize it. Stop looking for “the answer”—the perfect theology or church group or set of practices. Just be. Let God be God. Let God do God’s thing.
This is tough advice for many of us to take. We want to be in charge, finding the answer, assessing it, taking action. What St. Augustine’s story teaches is that rich soil comes by way of patience and humility. Wait, Listen. Receive.
Another saint comes to mind as well—St. Mother Theresa. Like Augustine, she had real doubts about her soil. Was it rich? Apparently, she didn’t think so. Incredibly, this woman who for over half a century served the poorest of the poor in a myriad of ways—not least of which was treating each person with dignity—doubted her faith in Jesus. For so many, she did serve and continues to serve as a prime example of what it means to be a Christian. But she wasn’t buying it.
But she kept right on serving the sick and the poor and the destitute just as Jesus teaches us to do. She kept doing the things that make us Christians worthy of the name. The lesson we might take from this saint is—keep on. Keep doing what Jesus asks you to do in whatever way you can. And let Jesus worry about the rest.
Or, put it this way. Stop fretting over whether you are the real deal or not. Put that question aside and focus, instead, on practicing patience, humility, and listening. And keep doing: go to mass, donate cookies to the youth fundraiser, take nonperishables to the food bank, visit the sick, comfort those who are afraid, support those who are vulnerable. And let Jesus take care of the rest.
All this—a tall order, to be sure. St. Augustine and St. Mother Theresa—pray for us that we may embrace your wisdom and enrich our soil with patience, prayer, and practice. Amen.
—Susan Trollinger