Thursday of the Fifth Week of Easter
“Remain in my love.” - John 15:9
A teacher asked his high school students “what is love?” While most responded that love was a “feeling” that you had for another, a rather intuitive young man asked, “Sir, how can love be a feeling when right now I don’t like my parents very much and they don’t like me either, but I know they still love me and I love them?” (That teacher was me.)
Insightful for a 16 year old.
What about Christian marriage, the most intimate of relationships?
Many think of love as butterflies in the stomach, wishing to be with each other all of the time. This may feel like love when you start dating, but it isn’t really love in the greater sense. It’s more of a “kick-starter” love.
Real love is when you are feeling good about the other and when you are not feeling good about the other. Most of the time love doesn’t have anything to do with feelings at all. This is the love that stands up in the midst of life’s great difficulties such as infidelity, financial strain, addiction, illness, job loss and other painful circumstances.
In Christian marriage love is expressed in a myriad of ways:
- Open communication is at the top.
- Once trust is lost it is hard to retrieve.
- Speaking of “us and our” instead of “I and my.”
- Disagree without fighting. Actively listening. Asking yourself, “will this matter one year from now?” helps.
- Always have each other’s back.
- As Paul says, be kind and patient with one another.
- Be the first to forgive.
- Pray and worship together.
Remember that sacramental marriage is a three way street: spouse to spouse with Jesus of Nazareth. In Christian marriage we remain in love by remaining in the love of Christ.
—Timothy J. Cronin