Saturday of the Third Week of Lent
There were many things I anticipated before becoming a mother: how sweet it would be to wear my baby snuggled to my chest. How much I would love learning about this tiny human who was an amazing mix of me, my husband and also something entirely new. How proud I would be to wear the title of mother.
When our son was born, all of that was true. And, my earliest days of mothering were a crash course in sacrifice.
I did not – perhaps could not – anticipate the to-the-bone weariness and how hard the loss of my autonomy would be. My curated plans were quickly replaced by feeding, cleaning and soothing my baby; all my thoughts and being revolved around anticipating and meeting his needs. Was this what loving my children would mean? Would motherhood be nothing but sacrifice?
In today’s readings, we hear: “For it is love that I desire, not sacrifice” (Hosea 6:6). Both in the first reading and when Jesus shares the parable of the Pharisee and tax collector, we read that humility and love are to guide our lives and our service to others. Our boasts and pride are to be secondary to love.
It’s easy to read the phrase of “It is love that I desire, not sacrifice” and understand there to be a binary choice. In reality, though, it’s not an either/or. Jesus knows (and modeled) there will be sacrifice in a life lived in love. Loving someone requires action to create the best life for one another, and loving action is almost always a sacrifice of some kind – time, money, energy.
Jesus knows pouring out our love for our children, friends, partners and communities requires sacrifice, but He encourages us to make those sacrifices in love. I don’t believe Jesus teaches to “do it in love and make no acknowledgement of how hard it is” and “don’t seek help when you need it because you’re a mother and that’s what this requires, so suck it up.”
Rather, I think there’s a middle space where our love and sacrifice meet where we can develop a better understanding of both. Jesus is calling us to lead with love as we make sacrifices in the holy work we are each called to do, whether that be motherhood or any other vocation.
Jesus, help me to see where love and sacrifice live together in my daily life. Help me to care for others and myself, beginning each day with: what does love require of me today?
—Meghann Naveau