Wednesday of Holy Week
In today’s Gospel, we have part of Matthew’s account of the Last Supper. Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus’ inner circle, is identified as the one who will betray the Lord. We tend to view Judas as the ultimate “bad guy,” don’t we? In Judas, however, we are invited to see ourselves. In what ways do each of us regularly turn away from the Lord? Today is a great opportunity for conversion! Let us turn back to God, give thanks for His mercy, and recommit ourselves to Him in love and fidelity.
As I pondered this text, I wondered what caused Judas to betray Jesus. Judas was chosen by Jesus to be one of his Twelve closest disciples. He traveled with the Lord, living in intimate community, and sharing in the ministry. At what point did he turn away? I heard a homily Monday evening, in which the priest conjectured that it might have been when Jesus taught on the Eucharist (John 6). That text indicates that many disciples turned away and left Jesus at that point. Perhaps Judas rejected Christ in his heart and mind at that point. Rejecting the Eucharist at this point could be a foreshadowing of Judas’ betrayal during the Last Supper.
Indeed, it is during the Holy Meal that Judas leaves the table and goes out to betray Jesus to the religious leaders. Today’s Gospel reads, “When it was evening, he reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, ‘Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.’” Jesus institutes the New Covenant in his blood and gives us the Eucharist, but Judas cannot receive it. What an unspeakable tragedy!
We too, gather weekly at the Lord’s Table. We enjoy the same intimate table fellowship with Jesus as those first Apostles. Christ invites us to be one with Him in intimate communion, to receive His divine life, and yet we sometimes leave the Table and walk away from Him.
Yesterday’s scripture was the same account from the Gospel of John. In addition to Judas’ betrayal, Jesus foresaw Peter’s denial, “‘Master, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.’ Jesus answered, ‘Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.’" You and I deny the Lord when we fail to recognize Him in the Eucharist, when we are unkind or unloving to our brothers and sisters, when we betray or abandon other people, when we neglect to care for the least of these, when we refuse to extend mercy and forgiveness . . .
God invites us to intimate communion with Him, and yet we prefer the isolation of sin. I read that theologians have called this tendency the mysterium iniquitatis (the mystery of iniquity). We can’t explain why Judas or any of us choose sin over God. This tendency is irrational. What we should see in Judas is that we, who gather regularly at the altar of our Lord, who eat His body and drink His blood, consistently engage in deeds of darkness rather than walk in the light and love of Christ.
Every reception of Communion fills us with the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ. That holy encounter, entered with awe and reverence and a surrender of will, intellect, heart, body – indeed our total selves – brings conversion. That holy encounter is an opportunity to fall more deeply in love with Jesus and to enter a bit more completely into the fullness of Divine life, the Holy Trinity. The more consumed we are by the love of God, the less our tendency will be to turn away, deny, betray, or abandon our Lord.
We cannot know why Judas turned away. It is the mysterium iniquitatis. I have to conclude, however, that it was fundamentally a lack of love. When we experience deep, passionate, committed love, how could we ever betray our Lover?
As we participate in the Holy Week liturgy and engage in our own personal prayer, let us recommit ourselves to God. Let us seek to fall more deeply in love with Him, let us confess our sins and turn back to Him, seeking the graces we need to walk with Him more faithfully and devotedly. Particularly as we receive the Eucharist at Easter, let us contemplate how great and infinite and merciful and sacrificial is God’s love for us. And let us love Him back with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and let us love Christ more perfectly in our neighbor. Jesus, please help us by your grace. Amen!
—Elizabeth Wells