Memorial of Saint Benedict, Abbot
Some time back, I jumped off a cliff. Literally. I was visiting family in Colorado; my sister thought it would be fun to try out a zip line - zooming through a mountain valley about 100 feet off the ground in places, attached to a wire with some climbing gear. I've tried something like this before, but it was a long time ago, and I remember being petrified and not being able to do it. The thing is, first you have to climb the several feet up to the spot where the zip line begins; then you have to find the courage to jump off the cliff - all while the wind is roaring around you and you're thinking, golly, this is crazy.
This time, though, I discovered I had some courage I hadn't had when I tried it a long time ago. I wasn't afraid like I had been; I just kept focusing on the work I had to do at that moment and not worrying about anything else - like looking down to see exactly how far I'd come. And when I finally made it across the valley, I was whooping. It felt amazing to have face a fear, to have done something I had once thought I couldn't do. (I guess experience and age has its benefits!)
I'm reflecting on that as I read about Jacob's experience wrestling with God in today's first reading (Genesis 32:23-33). I think it must have taken a lot of courage to send all his friends and family ahead and, in the dark, to wrestle with an unknown being, even to the point of being maimed. And while the stranger doesn't tell Jacob who he is, Jacob knows: he has wrestled with God, he has seen God face-to-face, and lived.
One of my favorite poets is Charles Wesley, one of the founders of the Methodist Christian tradition. He wrote a beautiful poem about this passage of scripture, which we used to sing when I was growing up: "Come O, Thou Traveller Unknown, whom still I hold but cannot see! My company before is gone and I am left alone with Thee." To me, the poem suggests Jacob facing down his fear, even jumping into the face of the unknown as he invites this stranger to wrestle with him.
In today's gospel (Matthew 9:32-38), we see some figurative cliff jumping. In the first sentences, Jesus heals a man of demons. Some see this as a sign that Jesus has God's favor; others see this as a sign that Jesus is really Satan's man. The passage poses a question for us: whom do we believe? Will we jump off the cliff of believing Jesus is the Son of God? This kind of question gets heightened further toward the end of the passage when Jesus, moved with pity for the crowds who have no shepherds, tells his disciples to ask the master to send laborers to be with the people. The laborers are the ones who have already jumped of a cliff by deciding to follow Jesus - and now he will send them to jump off further cliffs, to serve people in far away places, strangers they do not know. Indeed, eventually they will jump off the cliff of recognizing that Jesus' death does not mean defeat but means that God brings in a new creation.
Charles Wesley concluded his poem about wrestling Jacob by proclaiming God's name: "Tis love, tis love, Thou diedst for me, I hear Thy whisper in my heart! The morning breaks, the shadows flee, pure universal love Thou art." Today, let us reflect on the utter and profound love God has for us - and then pray for the courage to jump off whatever cliffs God might be asking of us.
Jana M. Bennett