It's definitely a temptation of mine even when I'm, not looking for a lifelong marriage partner - I have often been engaged in a personal struggle to make everyone like me.  Rationally, I know that it's a losing battle; I know that even unintentional things I do might offend someone... and I know I can't control peoples' reactions to me and what I do or say.  Despite my rationalizing, I still can't help but want to "feel the love."  I know I'm not alone in this - I have taught many students in my Christian Marriage classes who ask what they can do to get people to fall in love with them.  There are also students who have worried that I won't like them anymore if they do poorly on a paper or exam (not true in the slightest!)

 

So I think today's scriptures are a lesson for all of us who try too hard to earn other peoples' affections, and maybe even God's affections.  We often try to get people to like us by doing what we perceive to be that person's ideal vision of the right thing to do.  Paul writes (Galatians 5:1-6) about some members of the church at Galatia who suspect that maybe the only way they can get God to like them is by circumcising themselves, just the way God says to do it in the Old Testament law.  

 

But Paul proclaims to them that this is not the way to "earn" God's favor.  If you're doing an action just for the sake of being thought well of, then that action has no merit for you.  And this is true regardless of what it is that you're seeking to do.  Paul says clearly that neither circumcision nor uncircumcision will lead to eternal bliss - he is giving no quarter to anyone.  There is no action one can do that is sufficient when being thought well of is the aim.  

 

However, when the aim is "faith working through love" - then there are many actions that might be acceptable.  

 

Jesus emphasizes this point in today's Gospel as well (Luke 11:37-41).  He has gone to a Pharisee's house for a meal but doesn't do the proper ritual washing.  The Pharisee is aghast, but Jesus is trying to point out that ritual washing done for show doesn't mean anything at all to God. The Pharisees are trying to pretend that they are righteous through their actions, when in fact, their non-ritualistic actions are evil; they are "plundering" others' money for their own gain.  

 

Jesus therefore suggests a different kind of action - giving alms.  At first this might look like an action that we can do to gain God's favor, or others' favor.  But elsewhere (Matthew 6:4, for example) Jesus emphasizes that prayer and almsgiving both need to be done "in secret" so that it doesn't become self-aggrandizing.  Faithful almsgiving will always have others in mind rather than yourself, so that it becomes a way of "faith working through love" and not a selfish act.

 

Today, let us seek not to try too hard, for that is often more about us than it is about God. Let us instead pray for the grace to live faithfully, working through love.

 

- Jana M. Bennett