Saturday of the Fourteenth Week in Ordinary Time
“So do not be afraid” (Mt 10:31).
If you are like me, this is a message you need to hear every day, over and over and over again – do not be afraid. I know that I personally can fall prey to anxiety – it can stop me in my tracks and consume my thoughts. It can keep me awake at night. I get lost in the cycle of “what if” questions and the fears of all the things that are out of my control that can threaten the wellbeing of family. I know this is not what God wants for me, and it is readings like today’s Gospel that help to bring me peace and comfort. When I read today’s Gospel and I hear “do not be afraid of them” I don’t really see them as a person or a group of people – I hear “them” and I picture my fears and my anxieties – those worries that keep me from trusting God and often other people.
My sister, who is a Dominican sister, and a woman of great wisdom, can so often speak truth to my worries and fears. While on the phone with her a few months ago I was expressing anxiety about Covid, vaccinations, how to move forward, how relationships have been changed and challenged. She simply said, “Remember, none of us knows the truth except for God. There is still so much to be revealed.” This simple reminder stopped me in my tracks – she is right. There is still so much more to be revealed. Our God is big – so much bigger than any of us can even comprehend. And we, we are small.
Today’s Gospel can sometimes prove to be disorienting when I sit and ponder the message. I often have trouble wrapping my small, human mind around the enormity of God, especially when I process the enormity in connection with my smallness. I often find myself perplexed at how this God, who is creator of the universe and of all creation, who is all knowing, and all loving can still know each and every one of us and love us so intimately and deeply, intimately enough to count the hairs on our head. And it is this deep, intimate love that wants what is best for us - that only wants our good.
In our smallness, we are called to acknowledge this loving God – this loving creator who has formed us in our mother’s wombs and who wants what is truly best for us (not always what makes us feel good or makes us happy). There is a peace and a comfort that come from acknowledging our smallness and our need for God. It is in this relationship in which we accept that there is much we do not know or understand, and that God is ultimately in control, that we can begin to let go of our fears and our anxieties. When we remember that our time on this earth is small and that our ultimate goal is eternal life, we become emblazoned with a new bravery – a deep desire to use our time here on this Earth, to not only acknowledge God but to make His kingdom known. We are strengthened to know the Lord and to in turn make this world a more just, fair and loving place – in turn making God’s presence known here on Earth.
- AJ Grimm