Tuesday of the Third Week of Lent
The line between being forgiving and letting anything go is a difficult line to walk. It is often blurry and uncertain. It’s not easy to know when to “put your foot down,” and when to forgive someone who sins against you. This may not, at first, seem in line with today’s Gospel (Matthew 18:21-35) – after all, Jesus’ telling Peter to forgive his brother seventy seven times, when Peter only wants to forgive him seven, is pretty universally understood to mean “just keep forgiving people.”
But let us consider the story that Jesus tells today. Jesus compares the Kingdom of Heaven to a king. That king is moved by the compassion he feels for one of his servants (who owes a lot of money), and forgives the servant’s loan. However – take note of what the servant says to the king to move him with compassion: “be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.” The servant isn’t just asking for the king to forgive him the debt, but he’s promising that he will make things right. I believe this is what moves the king to forgive the debt entirely – the servant wanted to make things right, but wasn’t able, so he was begging for more time to make things right. It wasn’t that the king was a particularly nice man, it’s that the servant clearly wanted to take care of it.
Of course, when the servant turns around and beats someone else for not paying him his due, the king is outraged at this. The man was just shown kindness and mercy and forgiveness, and he abused that forgiveness by failing to extend it to someone else in a similar position. This time, the king offers no opportunity for forgiveness, and the wicked servant is tortured and forced to pay back his original debt.
We know that we are called to forgive, and we know that we are constantly in need of forgiveness. We are told these things time and time again in the Gospels. However, we don’t always consider that forgiveness demands a responsibility on the part of the one that is being forgiven. It is not enough to say “I am sorry” or “be patient with me,” and expect it to be so. We must, at the same time, take on the responsibility of making things right, or at least seeking to improve them.
In preparing for this reflection, the first time I read this Gospel I immediately thought of the Act of Contrition we pray during Confession. There are too many translations and interpretations to count, but they all have something along the lines of “I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.” This prayer is necessary for absolution – we can’t just say the things we did wrong and expect everything to be squared away. We have to seek forgiveness with the resolve to sin no more. And even though we will fail, the recognition of the need makes all the difference.
Offering forgiveness without expecting responsibility leads to permissiveness. The king n Jesus’ story today did not keep offering the servant the chance to apologize, it was clear that the servant didn’t take his responsibility to heart. We must remember this, and avoid doing the same.
Let us pray today that we can both offer and seek forgiveness, knowing that forgiveness is rooted in part in the resolution of the forgiven to sin no more.
- Marty Bagatti