Feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul, Apostle
A few months ago, I was having a conversation with a handful of seventh graders. Not all of them were Catholic, and sometimes this means I get to say things that shock & confuse them, causing them to ask a lot of questions. On this particular day (I can’t remember why), I casually mentioned to them that St. Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament, was a murderer. The table I was sitting with turned into an uproar (sorry teachers!), and at least one of these teens asked point-blank “So all I have to do is say I’m a Christian and I’ll get to go to Heaven?” Unfortunately, his ride came to pick him up, so I wasn’t able to teach him about repentance or conversion or why “becoming a Christian” wasn’t as simple as he made it sound. Instead, I’ll just talk about it here.
St. Paul’s conversion, very basically, is similar to many of ours. St. Paul had been a sinful man and was largely content in his sin. As he saw it, he had the world mostly figured out, and was comfortable with his station in life. It wasn’t until he had a real encounter with Jesus that he realized that he was in need of change. From there on, he would go on to lead the early church, and become especially influential in reaching out to and welcoming Gentiles into the church.
Of course, Paul’s story doesn’t end with his conversion, and neither does ours. I imagine it was pretty awkward for a while in Damascus, with Paul staying with some disciples (Acts 9:21) after “breathing murderous threats against [them]” only twenty verses earlier (Acts 9:1). But despite the awkwardness and the difficulty that always accompanies change, Paul “began to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God” (Acts 9:22). We, too, encounter awkwardness and difficulty from the change that comes with an encounter with Jesus. It might be difficult conversations with friends and loved ones, as we explain we really don’t want to be the person we were before. Or maybe it’s reckoning with ourselves as we work towards adjusting our own habits and routines to ensure we’re growing closer to God. There’s a deep discomfort with change – even change we know is for the better – that we have to be willing to accept if we want our conversion to not be a one-time event, but a real shift in who we are and what we do.
I’m sad that I wasn’t able to communicate this to my inquisitive middle school teen. The next time we spoke, we were so far removed from that conversation it couldn’t have come up in a way he would have heard it. But I will always think of him when thinking about St. Paul’s conversion – because our faith is not as simple as “say you’re a Christian and go to Heaven.” Our faith requires us to constantly and painstakingly accept that we must change, and that redemption – while uncomfortable – can be found in sincerely changing our hearts to grow closer to Christ.
Today, on the feast of the conversion of St. Paul, let us welcome the changes we need to be better witnesses to Christ, regardless of what that change will mean for every other part of our lives.
Marty Bagatti