Wednesday of the Twenty-ninth Week in Ordinary Time
I am a procrastinator. I have been one all my life. I have many memories of writing papers for English class in the middle of the night. Even though I knew about this 10-page paper for weeks I waited until the last possible hours to sit down and write. Yes, the topic was often percolating in my mind during those weeks – I was thinking about what to write, but I refused to put pen to paper until the last possible minute. There is something about the impending deadline that gives me the needed stress and pressure to get the job done. I have always responded well to having a deadline and I usually meet that deadline.
BUT reading today’s first reading and Gospel I found myself reminded of the fact that living a life of righteousness cannot be something we procrastinate on. There is no set deadline for when Christ will return or for when we will take our last breath. I have been reminded too often in this past year of just how little control we have over when our lives will end – we know not the hour when the bridegroom will return or when we will be called to the feast. And in this, this unknown, this lack of clarity or finality, this lack of a deadline, there is a call to action. We are called to begin today to become slaves of righteousness, to align our lives not to sin but to grace.
I am reminded of the song, “Find us ready Lord.” We pray “find us ready Lord, not standing still. Find us working and loving and doing your will. Find us ready Lord, faithful in Love, building the Kingdom of mercy and Love – building the kingdom that’s here and above.” We do not know when that final minute will be, but we want to be ready. Because we do not know the hour or the day, this is not something we can procrastinate on. We must start working towards God’s kingdom of righteousness today.
Someone recently explained to me that procrastination can be a sign of perfectionism – an inability to start for fear of doing it wrong or incorrectly. I understand this and can deeply relate to this – I can think of many opportunities I have missed out on because of a fear of doing them wrong. I have found myself not helping someone else or not comforting someone because I’m scared to do it wrong. I have walked away from encountering another because of the fear that I will do it wrong or say the wrong thing. Rather than entering into the discomfort and vulnerability of admitting my failings and owning my imperfections I simply do nothing. I miss out on an opportunity to build the kingdom. I pray that you and I, that all of us, not let that fear of being imperfect hold us back from loving as God would love, from forgiving, from working towards justice. Yes, we are imperfect beings, but I pray that in those moments we may find our strength in Christ. Let us not allow our fears and imperfections to hold us back from the work of righteousness, from building the kingdom of mercy and love. Let us start today.
AJ Grimm