Friday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time
I will confess that I find today’s gospel reading to be difficult; one that part of me wanted to avoid reflecting on today, but was repeatedly drawn back to. It is a touchy subject: divorce. Not one to be taken lightly. I have never gone through a divorce, but I know many people who have, some about whom I care deeply. There are those who have divorced by choice, but many more by the choice of their spouse or by circumstances (such as abuse) that led them to make that very difficult decision. How many couples enter into marriage with the intention of divorcing? Very, very few, I suspect.
We know that divorce is not the ideal. It is not what “the Creator” intended as we hear in today’s passage from Matthew (19:3-12) and in the marriage liturgy, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.” We also read that Jesus, when questioned by the Pharisees, acknowledges that Moses “allowed” divorce in certain circumstances, due to their “hardness of heart.” Although it was not how our Creator intended it.
In reflecting on this, I found it helpful to remember that Jesus (and God throughout history) is on the side of the most vulnerable. And at that time, even more-so than today, women were more vulnerable in society than men. For the most part, the men had much more power and, in Palestine in particular, women were not allowed to initiate a divorce, while men were. Aside from divorce not being the ideal, it also often left the woman in a more vulnerable, disadvantaged situation. Jesus knew this, and I believe was looking out for the most vulnerable.
What comes up for you as you hear or read this gospel passage? Here is an opportunity to bring to Jesus our questions, concerns, uncertainties, and need for healing regarding marriage and divorce. Let us ask God to soften our hearts that may have been hardened by anger, fear, hurts and insecurities. To what are we being called?
As today’s responsorial psalm reminds us, God’s “mercy endures forever.” We are not alone.
~Eileen Miller