The Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed(All Souls)
“Christians say really stupid things after a person dies” is something a friend said to me recently as we went for a walk at a nearby park. This is what came to mind as I read today’s readings.
Today’s readings are full of sources of statements we say to a grieving person. “He is in a better place;” “You know she is at peace now;” etc. These words are good. They are affirmations of truths in our faith. They are affirmation against old lies we used to believe. Lies that death has the last word. They are reminders that God will spread the table before us in the sight of death and claim us by anointing us and overflowing us with life eternal. And yet, these truths are not always the words needed by a grieving person.
For many of us, when we grieve, we are not experiencing grief because we believe our loved one is in a worse place, or is still suffering. We don’t experience grief because we lack faith in God or the promises the Lord has made to us in Scripture. We grieve because we love and our beloved is no longer evident to us. Certainly, we are still united through the communion of Saints. We share the same reality when we worship the Lord, particularly in Mass. But we are separated by death. And that separation is painful.
Today’s readings are profoundly important if we look upon death as a condemnation or when looking ahead to our own deaths with fear or dread. They are beautiful readings if we have traveled the journey of grief to the point that we are ready to celebrate our loved one. Or they are great readings if we have only known loss from a distance and are not intimately acquainted with grief. For those for whom the grief is too severe, whose loss is still so painful, Scripture also offers, “Jesus wept” (John 11:34) and there is “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecc. 3:4) and “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will comforted” (Matt. 5:4).
Our Good Shepherd is with us when we fear, when we celebrate, when we remember, and even when we grieve. When missing the face of our loved one, may we be drawn to more fully behold the face of the one who loves beyond measure.
- Spencer Hargadon