Monday of the Twenty-second Week in Ordinary Time
I have two confessions during this reflection. One might make me a mean Dad and the other makes me a pretty awful recruiter. They both have to do with the word “No.” I want to reflect on that word because of the scene that takes place in the Gospel today and our need to handle the word “no” properly.
Am I mean Dad? I don’t know. But sometimes my kids think I am because I tell them “No.” Sometimes that is because I have no other choice. Other times I tell them no because their behavior has not earned a privilege or because yes would be unwise, or… and this is the potentially mean part… because sometimes no is just the answer that I think is best. Every once in a while, when I’m on the fence about something for the kids, I will say no. Maybe it is a good night for family games, books, and talking and so I say no to them watching a show. Whatever the reason I sometimes say no to my kids because they need to hear it. They are going to hear no all throughout their lives. They need to know how to handle no. They can't always throw fits and get grumpy because of that word. They have to learn to behave properly when they are told no. The people of Jesus’ time did not behave well!
They also are going to have to say no to themselves which is going to be nearly impossible if they can’t handle accepting no for an answer. So maybe I’m a mean dad, but as unavoidable as “no” is, it seems irresponsible to not train them in it.
My second confession has to do with recruiting. I am a terrible recruiter because I often open with words similar to these: “I need help with 'x' thing, but I understand if you can’t do it. You can always say no.” I open with these words, not because I don’t want others to see and understand the need we have but because I want them to have some space. See, today’s Gospel offered two profound realities.
The first reality is that people need to accept the unknowns. For many people, the experience of receiving a no has rocked their world or their faith. That isn't to say that with judgment, but at some point, we will receive a no. We need to be capable of receiving a no without everything collapsing. The second reality is that it is ok to say no. When the time comes that we feel utterly overwhelmed by the compulsion to say 'Yes' it is ok to say 'no.' This is especially true when our inability to say 'no' negatively impacts those closest to us.
Anyway, as we pray with this scene from today's Gospel we are left to ask, how well do we receive the word "no" and when we need to are we capable of saying no so that we can say yes at another time and place?
- Spencer Hargadon