Wednesday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time
Why is reconciliation so difficult for us humans? At least in our U.S. culture, it seems we’ve become conditioned to avoid addressing issues with others and to shun opportunities to talk through conflict and work things out. We often experience even the thought of confronting another person as awkward at best or fearful at worst. For sure, we wouldn’t want to offend anyone, right?! So we simply avoid relational problems, hoping that they’ll resolve themselves, dissolve away, or at least not get any worse. Reconciliation is inherently part of God’s plan for us as God’s children. As much as we want to cringe away from it, becoming reconcilers is part of maturing as disciples of Jesus. In fact, Jesus addresses his disciples in today’s Gospel and provides a clear and specific formula for restoring brokenness in our relationships. Today, let us be mindful of our need for reconciliation with God and with our brothers and sisters. Let us ask God to give us the grace and the courage we need to take steps of reconciliation today.
For me, it’s helpful to remember that first and foremost, I am in need of reconciliation with God. Christ Jesus died on the Cross so that I might be forgiven of my sins and reconciled with God. Through my concupiscence, I am continually in need of God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness. So, I have to ask myself, since God is so unconditionally and extravagantly merciful to me, why do I sometimes have such a hard time offering mercy to others and seeking to repair damaged or broken relationships? At its most basic level: I’m in need of mercy, God abundantly shows me mercy, therefore, mercy should be a natural and unconscious outpouring from me as a result of my deep gratitude to God.
The answer to my question posed above is that relationships are hard and develop layers of dysfunction that build up over time. People are prickly and after awhile it becomes too easy to simply avoid being poked. Sometimes we’ve tried to patch things up with another person and they don’t respond well and so we give up. Relationships are hard. I hope today’s Gospel challenges us, however, to ponder the things that keep us in avoidance mode, and to pray about the people in our lives with whom we need to reconcile. We cannot chronically avoid opportunities for reconciliation – it will become an impediment to our growth as disciples. Not only that, but we function as ambassadors for Christ when we are obedient to our call to be reconcilers.
Indeed, St Paul tells us, “So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us. So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor. 5:17-21). I see a “reconciliation loop” at play here! God reconciles us to Godself; as ambassadors for Christ we practice reconciliation with others; others experience the reconciling love of God in us; others are drawn to be reconciled to God themselves; they become reconcilers, and the cycle continues!
So, reconciling with others is not just about making our relationships better and healthier – it’s actually part of evangelization! We lead others to Christ and to reconciliation with God as we invite them to reconcile with us. It’s all very beautiful!
We can’t control others’ responses to us when we attempt to reconcile. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, folks still reject us. St Paul provides some wise counsel, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:17-18). All we can do is our part. Our responsibility is to follow Christ’s call to practice reconciliation and to commit our lives and all our relationships to God trusting in God’s loving and providential care. I pray for myself and for all of you that we might take steps of reconciliation today and experience some breakthrough. Come, Lord Jesus! May your Kingdom come, and your will be done in our lives this day as it is in heaven. Amen!
- Elizabeth Wourms