Monday of the Second Week of Easter
Google "fear of change" and you will get ~662,000,000 results. Our fear of change seems basic to who we are. However, I think that it also can play an important part in our spiritual lives for good or for ill and that is reflected in today's readings. Overcoming our fear of change as Christians requires an acceptance of things we don't fully grasp, a surrender of control, and a humble acceptance that there is only one unchanging one.
In the Gospel we see Nicodemus struggling to accept a change he did not comprehend. Jesus was explaining to him that to truly walk in the Kingdom there would be a change so deep in our personhood that we would be "born again." As Catholics, we believe the ordinary means by which God accomplishes this in people's lives is through Baptism, but the point is that there is a change. There is a deep, internal, immeasurable change between who I was before and who I am as a disciple of the kingdom and I don't fully understand that change, but I need to be willing to accept that. That acceptance becomes easier when I accept that I am not in control and I am not the unchanging one.
In today's first reading we see the Apostles acting in boldness. This boldness came from the Holy Spirit who they allowed to have control in their lives. I don't know about you but I have experienced real fear of the change God can cause in my life, particularly through the Spirit. I have feared the Spirit coming in and shattering my status quo, or rather shaking things up a bit. The Apostles overcame this. The first reading says, "As they prayed, the place where they were gathered shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness." Their boldness flowed from their surrender to allow the Holy Spirit to bring about change in their lives. To shake things up, even the very building in which they stood.
The first step is not that we have a tongues of fire Pentecost experience. The first step is that we embrace the fruits of the Holy Spirit. The first of which is Wisdom and the last of which is Fear of the Lord which leads back to Wisdom. Part of that Fear of the Lord that returns to wisdom, the wisdom to accept change without fear, is the recognition that God is God. God is the great unchanging one. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I am the one that changes. My wife is the one that changes. My favorite leisure activity; my car; my job; my house; my strongest friendships; my greatest success; my skills; my natural abilities; my memory; etc, etc, etc. IT ALL CHANGES. We love pictures of loved ones because we seek to see how they change. We study the earth and universe because even they are changing. Only God is our unchanging constant. Until we are willing to fully accept that the only guaranteed constant in our life is God there will always be changes that rattle or steal our boldness. Whether it is the loss of someone's approval or the reality of death, we can better face those changes with our God who does not change.
Our boldness comes from standing firm on the unchanging one. It comes with surrendering ourselves to the direction of the wind that blows from heaven, the Holy Spirit. It comes from accepting that I won't always understand. The Lord has asked us to be meek, but not timid. May we, in meekness to God and service to God's people, boldly surrender before the breath of God that blows through our lives, the Holy Spirit.
- Spencer Hargadon