Friday of the First Week of Lent
I have some clear memories of fighting with my brother when we were kids. We found all kinds of things to fight and argue about--sports, toys, games, chores, food, TV. I would be angry with him just because he won in a game of one-on-one basketball in the driveway. I even remember getting mad because he was looking at me in the morning while we were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast before school (oh how ridiculous that sounds 20+ years later). My own boys have already replicated some great examples, as well, at the ages of 5 and 3. In fact, just last week, my 5-old-year was upset during supper because his brother was looking at him. There is also some intentional antagonizing that happens with it--the 3-year-old began giggling a bit of an evil laugh as his brother was whining for him to “stoooooppp!”.
Once (or twice...maybe more), I distinctly remember my parents requiring my brother and me to sit in our room together until we figured out how to reconcile our conflict, which usually required some sort of mutual apology. I have done something similar with our boys, with some coaching on empathy and understanding. My oldest has found the concept of being helpful or hurtful in his actions to be useful in comprehending situations. As we assess arguments or fights in our house, we often pose the question out loud, ‘was that helpful or hurtful’?
As I reflect on the readings today, I am considering the anger, judgment, complaints, and grudges that disrupt my relationships with family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, the driver in the other car, the lady in front of me at the grocery store. What arguments have I entered into with my family? How have I been hurtful to my friends? Where have I neglected to help my neighbor in need? What good does it do me to foster anger, frustration, hatred? Are these instances helpful or hurtful? Jesus’ message in the gospel speaks loudly to me: “whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment...if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (MT 5:22a, 23-24). As we continue this Lenten journey, I pray for renewed fervor for kindness and respect toward our brothers and sisters in Christ. The verse before the gospel today calls us to “cast away from you all the crimes you have committed, says the LORD, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.” (EZ 18:31) Through the three pillars of the season--prayer, fasting, and almsgiving--let us pursue ways of being helpful, to love one another, and to do what is right and just.
“A clean heart create for me, God; renew within me a steadfast spirit.” (PS 51:12) May the good God bless you in great abundance.
Peace,
Brandon Meyer