Tuesday of the First Week of Lent
Something happened to me recently that brought out feelings I had not been in touch with for a while. What strikes me about moments like these is how a trauma from the past can be resurrected seemingly from nowhere. The thoughts and feelings that had been swaddled neatly, put into a drawer and forgotten, are fully active in random access memory. Fortunately, a reminder from a wisdom figure in my life helped me put away the anger and file it away.
I have heard it said, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expected it to hurt someone else. Forgiveness is difficult especially when we are sure we are in the right. Of course, therein lies the problem. If life is about relationships, if life is about building the Kingdom, then our desires, indeed our will must be willing to bend in order to align with the will of God. The Our Father challenges us on so many levels and we pray it with such ease that we can become immune to its profound messages.
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” The scripture that we rattle off so easily states, God please forgive me to the degree that I am willing to forgive others. Ouch, how many times do I think about the past or even current events with a level of disdain that reflects a lack of forgiveness? Forgiveness is something we do. We need to forgive others for their trespasses. The hardest forgiveness of all to offer, may be the ability to forgive ourselves. Hopefully, with God’s grace, we can.
Deacon Michael Montgomery