Feast of the Chair of Saint Peter, Apostle
I have recently found myself praying a lot about what comes next - what’s after this life here on earth? I hope and believe that there is salvation to be had - that we are to be united with Christ in his heavenly kingdom. And then I find myself dwelling on the salvation of my children. Laying in bed on Wednesday night, trying to sleep, I found myself pondering how best to guide my children towards a relationship with God and with Jesus - how best to lead them to salvation. I journaled about my questions, I talked to God about it but I admit I still felt unsettled and was still wrestling with questions of how to best meet the spiritual (and physical and social and emotional) needs of all 4 of my children, when I woke up on Thursday.
It was with these thoughts and questions still nagging at the back of my mind that I sat down to read today’s readings. As I read through the reading and the gospel, two lines jumped out at me, both from the first reading, from Peter. First - “Tend the flock of God in your midst, overseeing not by constraint but willingly, as God would have it”. And then - “Do not lord it over those assigned to you, but be examples to the flock.”
Parenting is hard. It is by far the most challenging endeavor I have ever taken on. And the gravity of not only raising children but teaching them to be people of peace and goodness in this broken world can often seem overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be.
These lines from the first reading brought me some peace today and calmed the questions in my mind. We are told to “tend the flock of God in your midst.” We are told to take care of the children God has entrusted to us. It can be easy to think of our children as “my children” but at the end of the day they are a gift - a gift from God, and amazingly, God loves our children even more than we do. Which is hard to believe because we love them A LOT! But wow, what a huge relief. We are not in this alone.
As this reading goes on, we are told to be examples to the flock - to our children. And here is where I find both peace and a challenge. The peace - faith and salvation will not come from big, earth-shattering moments but rather daily practices, routines and habits. The challenge - I need to make sure I am creating daily practices, routines and habits that do nourish my spiritual life - amidst all of the other demands on my time. I think recently I have been so consumed by making sure my children were learning how to form a relationship with God that I sacrificed my own relationship - yet, if we are to be examples to the flock we must take care of our own spiritual relationship. We must let our children see us living a life of peace, of goodness, of prayer and modeling how important these are. Our spiritual life must be a priority - and that must be modeled to our children. When they see us making daily choices to foster our relationship with God - and inviting them into these practices - they will, in turn, do the same. As we approach the season of Lent, this is the question I hope to ask myself - what habits help me grow closer to God and which habits are pulling me away? Acting on the answer to this question will not only help my faith and my spirit but also nourish the spiritual life of my children as well.
- AJ Grimm