Saturday of the Seventeenth Week in Ordinary Time
Talking small children into using the potty can be difficult, as many of you may know. With my son, Ignatius, I sometimes find myself using the phrase, “just go practice.” Iggy knows how to use the bathroom, but I want him to become proficient at responding to the need to go potty. As Christians, as we pursue lives of virtue, we need to practice like a three-year-old practices on the potty.
This whole theme was brought up by a friend mentioning the distinction between value and virtue based morality. Though I only heard his four-minute recap of the topic, our conversation came to mind as I read Herod’s story today.
Herod likely knew what was right. When quizzed on his values he would likely be able to pass with flying colors about what was right and what was wrong, all the more reason to lock John the Baptist away as he sounded like his conscience’s echo. But knowing what is right and working consistently at developing virtue is different.
Herod’s lack of virtue seems more and more evident from his inability to stand up to anyone around him. He has not trained himself to say no to himself and so can’t say no to anyone else. And this is essential to the ‘yes’s we offer in life, for as one of my favorite quotes puts it, “if you can’t say no, then your yes means nothing.”
But how do we train ourselves in virtue without putting ourselves in harm’s way? One piece of advice I’ve taken to heart is to practice a daily denial. Maybe it is drinking your coffee without cream (or not drinking coffee at all if you are a stronger person than I). Maybe you don’t use salt or choose to relax with a glass of lemonade instead of a gin and tonic. And this isn’t bargaining, you aren’t skipping the breakroom brownie so you can have ice cream guilt free when you get home. You are just saying no, to help train your willpower.
This won’t make us perfect and doesn’t make us impervious to sin. Nor does this mean we can be less reliant on grace and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. But as we say no to that extra episode on Netflix, we might find more time to pray. Or as we learn to practice temperance we might find that we avoid occasions to commit the same sins again.
Find a time today ‘to just practice’ saying no, so the next time you say yes, you know you mean it. Just as my son is getting better and better at making it to the potty on time (praise the Lord!), we’ll get better at responding to the Holy Spirit speaking through our conscience.
- Spencer Hargadon