Memorial of Saint Justin, Martyr
I often reflect on the comments of my children in my daily reflections. They challenge me to think about my faith in a different way. They ask poignant questions. And they help me to believe with the faith of a child. Yesterday my five year old alarmed me with a statement I have been pondering for the past day.
As we drove home from preschool he looked at me and said, " Mommy, I wish God had never made me." I was shocked. Why would my little boy say this? I prodded him a little to see why he would ever say such a thing. His answer: "If God never made me then I wouldn't ever have to die." He has been struggling to grasp this concept of death for awhile now. This was the first time I understood how much he is struggling with it.
I responded by telling him all the reasons why I am SO GLAD that God made him. Since this conversation I realized that there is so much to tell him. His statement shows me his intense fear of dying. Fearing death is normal - it is truly the unknown. But we, a resurrection people, believe that there is life after death. There is a heaven, where we are one with the Father. And this is the truth I feel compelled to instill in him now. There is life after death. Because of Christ's love we have the resurrection to look forward to.
Today's first reading looks at this same tension - the Sadducees and the Pharisees disagree on resurrection, angels and spirits. They cannot agree that there is more to this life than to simply live here and now. They cannot agree on the eternal life we are all working towards. While Owen is only 5 and has trouble expressing his fears around what happens after death it is a fear that is very real and has existed since the beginning of time.
In the Gospel we see Christ assuring us that we should live with the hope of resurrection. In his prayer he addresses God his Father and says "I wish that where I am they also may be with me, that they may see my glory that you gave me, because you loved me before the foundation of the world." Christ wants us to be with him in Heaven. He wants us to take part in the eternal glory - because we were made out of goodness and love. And I think this last part is what I was trying to show Owen- his innate goodness. We were each made in goodness, made out of love, made to be a likeness of God the Father. And that is why I am so glad God made him - he is a unique, beautiful representation of God in our world. I see God work through him in ways that I do not see expressed in any other person. And I pray this goodness will be joined with God in heaven one day, a long time from now.
To fear death is natural. But we must take these fears to the Lord, turn to him with our worries and our confusions and trust that he can teach us to be a resurrection people - full of hope for eternal life to come. We trust in Christ's words that where he is we may be with him. May we live lives that are striving for eternal life. Rather than fearing death and the unknown may we live lives of hope - lives of gratitude for this life and the eternal life yet to come. Amen.
- Amanda Grimm