Memorial of Saint Polycarp, Bishop and Martyr
"Who do you say that I am?" In our gospel Jesus asks this question of his disciples. I would like to take a moment and challenge each of us to sit with this question as well. Imagine yourself face to face with Christ. Maybe you imagine you're in your living room, in your favorite coffee shop, in a chapel, in your car. Wherever you are - it is you and Christ and he looks you in the eye and he asks you this question - "who do you say that I am?"
If I am honest I find myself asking in return - "in what context? and who else will hear my answer? and who do you want me to say you are?" But when I stop the noise and stop worrying about how to have a perfect answer to this question, I hear this question coming through- "AJ, in your heart, who do you know me to be?"
And I ponder for a bit - who do I know Jesus to be? I know Jesus to be loving, to be sacrificial, to be relational, to be merciful, to be just, to be willing to challenge others for the sake of the truth. I know Jesus to be comforting, to be peaceful and to be a place where I can find strength, clarity, joy and courage. I imagine telling Christ this. I imagine he is peacefully listening, nodding his head and taking it all in. I then see him grabbing my hands and challenging me - now that you know who I am - bring me to the world - live all of those things. He challenges me "make sure that anyone who encounters you, encounters my love." I pray that I can live up to that challenge.
Stepping back, out of this imagery, I find myself thinking - how does my answer compare to Peter's? Peter knows Jesus to be the Christ, the son of the living God. I admire Peter. He didn't have the New Testament or a parish or the Catholic church to teach him who Jesus was. He just got it - maybe not right away, but he figured it out. He encountered Christ and recognized him for who he was - truth, peace, love, the Son of God. I don't know that I would be able to really understand who Jesus was if I were alive in his time - I often struggle to understand now! I imagine I would have been in the crowd watching him, but scared to be seen with him.
So now, here I am, in 2017 - with unlimited resources to learn about Christ, to study his life, to learn from the saints and I ask myself - am I still in the same place I fear I would have been in Jesus' time? Am I willing to do more than simply watch in the crowd? Am I ready to answer, no matter who may be listening - you are the Christ, the son of God? I pray for the strength to answer yes to this question - to always be ready to say - you are my savior, my Christ, the son of the living God. And I ask for the strength to live out Christ's challenge and ensure that anyone I encounter experiences Christ's love.
Amen.
- AJ Grimm