Thursday of the Twenty-First Week in Ordinary Time
I have to choose my words carefully when I speak now. My 4 year-old who is a sponge for words and language will stop me whenever I use a word he does not know the meaning of and insist I define it for him. When I read through today's readings I felt called to the word perseverance. When I stepped back to think about perseverance I realized this is a word we reflect on often but one I have never taken the time to clearly define. How would I define this for Owen?
Looking up the definition I found perseverance has two meanings - "steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success" and "continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation". The 4 year old version - you keep doing something because it is good, even when it's not what you want to do.
Looking at this first definition of perseverance it is not the difficulty part I struggle with, but the delay. I struggle with the waiting - the day in and day out drudgery of daily life - it is in these moments that I struggle to find God the most. When I am in the middle of a big transition or a time of change, where God's closeness is obvious, it is easy to remain steadfast and cling to the Lord and be ready for His coming, but it is in the lulls of our life - the moments where life seems monotonous that I struggle to remain steadfast.
Thankfully, Paul speaks to this very struggle - this waiting - in our first reading. He encourages the Corinthians, and he encourages us, to know that God has given us the spiritual gifts necessary to wait on his revelation - to continue to work towards the end, towards His glory, even when we are delayed or fail. God is with us in the waiting - "He will keep you firm to the end."
And we all need help to remain firm - to keep doing what is good, even when it's hard. My little ones were up before the sun again yesterday - as they are every morning. Often that is a difficult time for me to feel God's closeness - rather I feel tired, groggy and irritable. But on this particular morning I looked out the window and I saw the most beautiful sun rise. My 4 year old asked to look at it on the porch, so we swung, together, watching the beauty of the sunrise. We talked about how that sunrise is a little gift from God - a way that God is telling us good morning and I love you. And in that moment I felt what this first reading speaks of - I knew God was giving me the graces to not only wait on the Lord but to find Him. God was keeping me firm to the end - helping me get through the daily grind, the waiting. Reminding me He is near.
As we hear in today's Gospel, it is in the midst of our daily life, our monotony and our daily busy-ness, that God may come - and will he find us ready? Are we ready in our waiting? Are we loving the Lord and preparing to meet Him, even when we are living out our day to day earthly struggles?
For me to even start to answer yes to this question I have had to change my mindset. I have to consciously choose to make all things prayer - even if I don't feel God in those tough moments - I need to seek Him out. I talk often with my mom friends about how it is hard to find time for prayer, for quiet Bible reading and reflection. Amidst the diapers, the questions and the breaking up of sibling squabbles, I do attempt to read the readings and stay focused on God in that way, but more and more I have found that God is seeking out ways to connect with me and grant me His graces - I just have to be ready to receive them. I pray God grants you your own "sunrise" today - a moment where you know He is truly there and that gives you the strength to keep doing what is good, even when it is not what you want to do.
- Amanda Grimm