Wednesday of Holy Week
Have you ever had an overwhelming sense that something bad was about to happen. You are not quite sure but the energy at home or work seems radically different. I remember sensing my own father’s death before my mother even called to tell me.
It must have been apparent to Jesus that a betrayal was at hand. The obviousness may have come from the fact that the emotions of the week were all very raw. Jesus must have sensed the change in the communities’ spirit. The energy of the group of the disciples had changed from the jubilation of just a few days before. But what did Jesus sense, perhaps fear, disappointment, or anxiety? All were telling signs of the storm clouds that were gathering. Surely even the twelve knew that something was amiss.
It was in that environment that Jesus gathered his friends for the Passover Meal. For the Jews this supper is a ritual celebration of the story of liberation from slavery. More importantly the Passover represents the story in a way that invites all gathered to relive the events so that the story of the Passover is their story. It is a story where they recall the sacrifice of an unblemished lamb, whose blood would protect the chosen people from the angel of death. At the heart of this meal was the storytelling story of the slavery, the Passover and being set free. This experience is called anamnesis which is the same concept we would apply to the relationship with the Mass and the Last Supper. It was in the middle of this meal that celebrates God’s love and mercy that we find one of the greatest acts lack of faith and trust in God, the betrayal of Jesus.
Spy Wednesday, lets us look deeply into the mind of Judas so as to see ourselves. At times, we too have handed Jesus over. We too have sold Jesus and all we have been taught, for a few pieces of silver. We too have tried to bend God’s will to ours.
On this last full day of Lent let us look into the deep into our souls so that we become aware of all that separates us from the love of God. This awareness can be a real gift. It is hard to heal a broken heart if you are not clear that your heart is broken. It is not easy to heal a broken heart when the instrument or path we choose for healing is leading us deeper into sin. This sinfulness prevents us from fully entering into communion with our Lord. Only through the full and active participation with what our faith demands can our hearts, minds and souls be conformed to Christ.
Our conformity to Christ means that we are willing to set our faces like flint, even as we endure suffering in the name of Christ. It means that we are so rooted in our relationship with the Lord that even in the face of death itself, we will not rebel from faithful discipleship.
"Loving and Merciful God, continue to be our help so that we have the deep awareness to understand that the hardships we endure are not meant to put us to shame. Revive our broken hearts so that no matter what confronts us, we only have zeal to do Your will, who lives and reigns one God, forever and ever. Amen!"
-Michael Montgomery