Saturday after Ash Wednesday
So there I was, walking around a bookstore that I used to work for. I just had a thrilling time poking around their Catholic section (yes, bookstores are thrilling for me). I found a couple of gems that I was excited about, but based on their covers, titles, and authors were far from subtle about being Catholic books. At this point I didn't have a care in the world as I meandered around the bookstore with my little pile of theological goodies. Then as I approached the checkout counter I saw an old manager of mine. My carefree attitude dissipated and before I knew what I was doing, I had all the books tucked under one arm, covers facing inward so he couldn't see them. I just experienced one of the first collisions between my old self and new self and I'm pretty sure my old self won. This experience has stuck with me for over a year and a half now, and I'm constantly struck by how much I struggled with encountering someone who only knew me prior to my conversion, or in other words Before Christ. Not only did that experience stick with me, but it came back to me today as I read the Gospel.
In today's gospel we see the call of Levi, who I'm pretty sure is Matthew. Levi is a tax collector, a social pariah when Christ calls him to follow. But the remarkable thing to me isn't his origins, but what he does after he is called. Scripture tells us, “Then Levi gave a great banquet for him in his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were at table with them” (Luke 5:29). After my own conversion I was afraid to be around some of the people I knew beforehand. Those who I cussed with, drank too much with, and generally participated in sin with. I was afraid of how I would turn down all of those things without coming off as “holier than thou” or I was just afraid that I wouldn't even turn them down. But here we see Levi encounter Christ and immediately invite other tax collectors into this encounter with Christ. He does not shy away from the collision of his BC life and his after Christ life. I think this is a good lesson for us, and especially for me this Lent.
Just as Levi did not shy away from his BC friends, neither should we (assuming we aren't putting ourselves into temptation we know we can't handle). Maybe we are being challenged to reach out to someone we knew before we became more serious about our faith, not in a pushy or manipulative way, but in a genuine way. This could be an act of evangelization, an opportunity for forgiveness, or even just a reigniting of a friendship, whatever it is we should know just as Levi did, that we do not have a private claim on Christ but are called to share Him. If not in word, than at least by “removing from your midst oppression, false accusation and malicious speech; … bestowing bread on the hungry and satisfying the afflicted” (Isaiah 58:9b-10a).
- Spencer Hargadon