Thursday of the Second week in Ordinary Time
I admit that I have been guilty of envy. I have been jealous of other people who seem to have what I want for myself or my family. And I have been envious of other people’s children when they seem to have it all together with almost no effort or struggle. Granted, what the outside world sees is usually not the whole picture. Except with the closest of friends and family, we often don’t see the true struggles that others are going through. And who doesn’t like to be admired and praised and thought highly of? I know it’s a real temptation to want to “look good” to others and to be envious of those who seem to have what we don’t. It can be a poison in our lives if it goes unchecked.
In today’s first reading (1 Samuel 18:6-9; 19:1-7), we see Saul becoming jealous of David who just returned from slaying Goliath, the Philistine. The Israelite women were singing both Saul and David’s praises, but Saul noticed that their song attributed greater victory to David. Almost like a young child would jealously complain, Saul thinks, “They give David ten thousands, but only thousands to me.” Saul sees him as a threat to his kingship. Because of this perceived threat and David’s closeness to God, Saul began to jealously fear David and plan for his killing while the rest of Israel loved him.
In the gospel reading today (Mark 3:7-12) we hear about how people were drawn to Jesus through his teachings and powerful healings. He had crowds pressing in to draw closer to him. Like David, Jesus eventually finds himself the object of intense jealousy. There is a jealous fear that Jesus will be made king. Those in power come to see him as a threat. And, as you know, this eventually leads to his death on the cross.
This leads to some serious questions: Is there a jealousy in my life right now that is poisoning me or my relationships? Is it keeping me from a closer relationship with God? Is it preventing me from being the unique person that God has called me to be?
Today I pray Thomas Merton’s words, “Stamp out the serpent envy that stings love with poison and kills all joy.” (from A Book of Hours, edited by Kathleen Deignan)
And let us pray for the grace to accept who we are and are called to be in the eyes of God rather than seek a false self that feeds our egos and never brings true joy.
Eileen Miller