Saturday of the Thirty-third Week in Ordinary Time
I'm in my sixth month of marriage, and while I'm hardly an expert, I'm quickly learning many things. I'm learning to appreciate our differences, to be able to communicate that just because I'd do something differently doesn't mean my way is better, and I'm learning to appreciate all of the little things that I can easily take for granted. There are areas that need a little more work than others. Presently, I'm still quite the amateur at recognizing my mistakes before they catch up with me, admitting when I'm wrong, and finally, gracefully recovering from being wrong. I can hardly take credit for thinking about these areas that need growth on my free time. Rather, I picked up today's readings and they jumped off the page at me as several key passages resonated with me above and beyond the others.
In Maccabees, King Antiochus sets the optimal example of a person who is blind to their mistakes until the consequences catch up to them, but he is far from the only one who does this. And what are his responses to his fast approaching consequences? He quickly succumbs to denial, fear, anxiety, solitude, and self-pity. Aren't we the exact same way? So often I can see consequences arising, and I can sense the Antiochus side of me emerging. Maybe I over-committed myself or in the hustle and bustle of my life I forgot to fulfill a promise. Immediately, excuses begin forming in my mind, then the worry and anxiety begins, and as that couples with the excuses the “woe is me” attitude starts. At that point all I want is to be alone to not face my own responsibility and to recover from my own mistakes, to let my error be mine and mine alone in private. But that is not what I vowed to take on when I got married. My faults have to be admitted and owned, for she vowed to live with my flaws as well as my strengths. At which point, I need to call my wife into my remorse and do that which I hate doing, admit that I was wrong. This is no different than when we ask God to enter our remorse, especially in the sacrament of reconciliation.
Admitting we are wrong is one of the most difficult things we do as human beings. I'm actually surprised the Sadducees didn't believe in eternal life, because I'm pretty sure it takes us all eternity to finally become good at admitting when we are wrong. However, that is exactly what Antiochus does at the end of the Maccabees passage and what the Sadducees do at the end of the gospel. The Sadducees go one step further than Antiochus though. He merely admitted his fault and took ownership for his consequences. They commended Christ's response. Scripture says, “Some of the scribes said in reply, 'Teacher, you have answered well.'” Not only is it difficult to admit when we are wrong, but it is even more humbling to admit that the other person was right! Inside we are asking ourselves “Why can't we just both be wrong?” My wife always says that she likes playing cooperative board games, because if she can't be the only winner than she definitely doesn't want to be the only loser! There is truth in that sentiment, 'If I can't win, neither can you.' But we know that is not the attitude of the gospel, and so even though we don't want to learn from the Sadducees bad theology or their desire to test Jesus, we can learn that there is a time and a place to admit when we are wrong. But let us pray that we can do it gracefully.
I bring up this idea of gracefully recovering from being wrong because it only took one sentence for the scribes positive example to become a negative teaching point. Luke records that, “they no longer dared to ask him anything.” Granted, if all Luke means is that they stopped trying to trap Jesus in a theological conundrum then, amen! However, I think this is broader than that. They got proven wrong so soundedly, and from their own sources, that their pride was damaged. By no means a fault of Christ's, but rather a refusal to embrace the humility that comes from accepting when we are wrong. This is what I mean by gracefully, both that we can be wrong without being a sore loser and that by the grace of God we can have the humility to let go of our own ego. The language Luke uses with the concept of them not 'daring' to ask anything else suggests a timidity that missed the whole point of Christ's being there. A point that we only clearly grasp with the help of grace.
So what is the point? The point is that God came to us as we are, and where we are, to help stand alongside us as we lie in our bed of self-pity and recognize our mistakes with regret and repentance. For we are in a foreign land, and He doesn't want those consequences to fully catch up with us here. He wants us home and our homeland is entered through the resurrection that the Sadducees denied. He wants us to believe in that resurrection, because it gives us hope. It helps us to see that God corrects us out of love and a desire for us to be with Him and each other. It hopefully guides us away from being as destructive as Antiochus; for it is His kingdom we are trying to further, not ours. The point is that we can let go of our pride and rely on His grace, because He loves us. Maybe, just maybe, if I can do that, then knowing that spouses are called to love each other as Christ loves the church, I can get a little better at admitting to my wife when I'm wrong.
- Spencer Hargadon