Memorial of Saints John de Brébeuf and Isaac Jogues, Priests, and Companions, Martyrs
In today’s gospel, Christ says, “When they take you before synagogues and before rulers and authorities, do not worry about what your defense will be or about what you are to say. For the Holy Spirit will teach you at that moment what you should say.” Now this is a passage I have to mull over time and time again. I find myself drawn to it because of the way I returned to my faith. I came back into my faith, from complete apathy, through apologetics (defending the faith from a rational perspective). With the help of God’s grace, my family’s prayers, and many wise people I wrestled my way back into my faith, often by first engaging why it was reasonable and then embracing how it is mysterious. Reading this passage reminds me of three lessons I learned from having a spiritual diet that was too saturated in apologetics.
First, I learned to not get too caught up in the minute details of how we discuss the mysteries of God as long as we aren’t excluding anything about His mystery. I could feel myself becoming attached to the way people would explain beliefs as opposed to what those beliefs meant and who they were supposed to lead me to. It also left little room for me to be able to have meaningful conversations with people who didn’t use words the same way Catholics might. So sending too much time thinking about my defense actually paralyzed me from being able to express the faith in a way someone might better understand. Often, that different explanation is prompted by the Holy Spirit which leads to my second lesson.
Second, I was so rigid in how to defend the faith that I was not longer an instrument for the Holy Spirit to use in expressing the truths I had come to appreciate and embrace. Rather, I made myself and my own reason the defender of those truths. At that point, I became an obstacle to those truths and I betrayed one of the greatest truths of out faith, our reliance on God. It wasn’t ok in my mind to end discussions and disagreements knowing they were being left in God’s hands. I want resolution right then and there, and the only resolution I imagined was, “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Which entering into conversations with others with that attitude was far from charitable.
Third, my less than charitable attitude also led to my final lesson. Instead of a welcoming and joyful Christianity, I possessed an overly defensive Christianity. I could sense myself looking for something to disagree with when I listened to Christian Radio or attended my then girlfriend’s non-denominational church. When I was challenged about my faith, it was usually someone challenging me on what made me think I was right. I was not challenged about why I was joyful, hopeful, or different. Coming to that realization was difficult, but it was incredibly humbling.
So, now I’m here, having learned these three lessons and I’m mulling over Christ’s words in my mind and in my heart. As I do so, I feel confident that He is not contradicting 1 Peter 3:15, “To always have a defense.” Rather, He is complementing the rest of the passage, and affirming it is the whole passage that needs to be upheld. We should be called for a defense of our hope and we should respond in charity. We should not be defending to save face with how people se us as Catholics or Christians. Rather, our defense is a witness to the Lord, what He has done for us, and what He has revealed. And why should someone call us to a defense? Hopefully, it is because we, like those in the Psalm, are shouting for joy.
- Spencer Hargadon