Memorial of Saints Cornelius, Pope, and Cyprian, Bishop, Martyrs
My maternal grandmother lived to the age of 103. She was the daughter of German immigrants and grew up on a farm in St. Henry, Ohio in the early years of the 20th century. Grandma Mary was a devout Catholic her entire life. During last couple of years of her life, despite experiencing many days of confusion and disorientation, she continued to pray the rosary everyday and would take Communion as often as possible. One of the things I remember is that no matter whether she was attending Mass or receiving Communion from her bed, she always said, “Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof, only say the word and I shall be healed.” Even through all those years before the Liturgy was changed, she continued to say these words. She was not protesting or ignoring the changes in the Mass. It was just that she was used to saying this and she meant every last word from the deepest part of her heart. So it is not surprising that today’s Gospel passage reminded me of her. My Grandmother was a woman of great faith and devotion. Of course she had her moments of being “frisky” and she had no trouble sticking up for herself, but when it came to prayers and Mass and her devotions, she was completely serious. When it came to her faith and her spiritual life she knew who she was in the sight of God and her faith was based securely in that knowledge.
In today’s Gospel Jesus is asked to heal the slave of a Roman centurion. This request does not come directly from the centurion himself, but from elders in the Jewish community. This makes me wonder what kind of fellow this Roman centurion was that the Jewish elders would plead so urgently on his behalf. The Gospel tells us that he had been very kind to the Jews in that community. He had even built their synagogue for them. Despite the divisions and differences, a friendship and mutual respect had developed between the Jewish people and this Roman centurion. Jesus goes with the elders and, on the way to the man’s home, they are met by friends with a message to Jesus from the centurion. "Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof. Therefore, I did not consider myself worthy to come to you; but say the word and let my servant be healed”. (Lk 7:6-7) The passage continues saying “Jesus is amazed”. How amazing to find one with a faith such as this—and in one who is a Gentile.
I am so struck by this man’s faith as well, but even as much by the humility that is necessary for such a faith. To see oneself as truly unworthy to be in the presence of the Lord requires humility. It means knowing that I am a creature and God is my Creator. It means accepting that I am limited and flawed and utterly dependent. And it means knowing I am loved from and into eternity by the One Holy and Immortal God. It simply means knowing the truth, accepting the truth, and living my life out of this truth to the best of my ability by the grace of God.
I appreciate the reminder of my dear Grandmother each time I say “Lord I am not worthy…” before I receive Communion. It is very precious to me. More than that, I am grateful that each time I remember her, I also remember how she revered the Eucharist, held fast to her faith and remained wholly devoted to God. She knew who she was in the eyes of God, accepted who she was, and lived her life based in that knowledge. I pray I may come to know and accept myself exactly as I am like she did. And I pray my devotion to My Lord and the Eucharist will grow and always remain as steadfast and alive as hers as well.
Dear Holy and Amazing Father,
Thank you for Grandmothers!!
May you grant me the grace this day
to gain a deeper knowledge
of who I truly am in your eyes
May I know and accept my unworthiness and
May I know and accept your unfathomable love for me
With the intercession of Mary
In Jesus name. AMEN.
- Gail Lyman