Thursday of the Twenty-second Week in Ordinary Time
I recently read with my youngest son a wonderful children’s book, beautifully illustrated, about Mother Teresa’s life (Mother Teresa, by Demi, 2005). One of the things that stood out to me was that she did not set out to start her own order of sisters and brothers, or to earn the Nobel Peace Prize, or to be known and loved throughout the world, she simply listened to God’s voice, God’s call within her, and took little steps to answer that call. She even had what she referred to as “a call within a call”. While she had already answered the call to become a religious sister and went from teaching in Calcutta to eventually becoming the principal of the school, she became aware of the people suffering in the slums near the school and began to visit and help them in whatever ways she could. Then, while on a train to her summer retreat, she heard the call to leave the convent and “help the poorest of the poor while living among them.” Her first “school” among the people living in the slums was simply under a tree with five “street orphans” who she began to teach by writing with a stick in the dirt.
In today’s gospel reading (Luke 5: 1-11), a few simple, unlearned fishermen receive the call from Jesus to leave their nets behind and follow him. Simon did not feel worthy of Jesus’ call. When he saw the nets full of fish brought up at Jesus’ command after having fruitlessly worked all night, he said, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Simon and the others were amazed by the abundance of their catch, and they felt afraid. Yet Jesus called this sinful and simple man to not be afraid and to follow him.
I imagine there were times that Mother Teresa felt unworthy and maybe even afraid. But she continued to answer God’s call. Apparently she would tell her followers, “I am nothing. He is all. I do nothing on my own. He does it. I am God’s pencil. A tiny bit of pencil with which He writes what He likes.” And look how much good was accomplished through this one woman and the many, many women and men that answered a call to join her in God’s work.
There are times that I feel afraid and unworthy to answer God’s call to be a mother to three children, to become a spiritual director, to write a weekly reflection on the Scripture readings, to cantor at mass. I sometimes ask myself (and God), “Who am I to think I can do this work?” But I realize that I am being called by Jesus, as is every one of us, to answer His call in our own unique way, and He is telling us to not be afraid, even though we may not feel worthy.
I can relate to Simon when I think of the times that I have grown tired and discouraged by my own fruitless efforts, ready to give up. I remember, too, the times that I have accepted Jesus’ invitation to be with me in my boat, and have prayed something like, “Ok Lord, I’ll give this one more try with you at my side this time.” And then I’ve been overwhelmed with the abundance of God’s goodness and grace, so much so that I feel as if my nets are about to burst. It can be frightening in an awesome kind of way, to witness God’s power and love so strong.
We can also look to today’s first reading (Colossians 1: 9-14) for encouragement. In Paul’s prayer for the people of Colossae, he reminds us that we “may be filled with the knowledge of God’s will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding…and (be) strengthened with every power…” Paul begins his letter stating, “We do not cease praying for you.” Through prayer and our relationships with one another we can come to understand how God is calling us and receive the graced strength to answer that call. Thankfully, we are not asked to do this alone, but to pray for one another in a community of discipleship.
So, whether we are being called to participate more fully in the church, minister with love and patience to those in need, respond with justice to a challenging situation, or develop and use our gifts for God’s greater glory, let us be encouraged that God will strengthen us, and let us pray for each other that we may not be afraid to answer Jesus’ call. May we, like Mother Teresa, be willing to be "God's pencil".
- Eileen Miller