I had one of those days this week where everything went "all wrong" - in both humorous and not so humorous ways.  Milk was put back in the pantry; I tore a pair of pants almost immediately after putting them on; yelled at the kids (for no good reason other than my own dissatisfaction with the day); drove the wrong direction on the way to a meeting, and so on.  Starting off a day with a wrong thing seems to beget more wrong things.  After having that kind of day, I find myself in prayer wondering to God, "What exactly can you make of me, with all these mistakes and wrong turns and bad actions?"

 

Today's gospel lesson (5:27-32) is one of those that makes me ponder wrong turns and bad judgements more deeply, because we see Jesus expounding on yet another one of those odd and difficult passages in scripture.  It is not enough not to commit adultery, or to follow the other ten commandments perfectly, Jesus seems to suggest.  You can't even have bad thoughts in your heart - you've got to be as perfect as possible.  (Or else - the image in this passage suggests - you'll be an armless, legless human...) Indeed, if you read ahead to verse 48 in this chapter you'll see that Jesus proclaims exactly that in this Sermon on the Mount: "Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect."

 

It might be irreverent, but especially after I have a day like the one I just described above, I kind of want to shriek with laughter.  I feel so SO far from perfection.  Some days I can't even make it to "mediocre".

 

Reading this passage in relation to the first reading (2 Corinthians 4:7-15) offers a bit of a way to understand the gospel reading.  Paul is writing here to those experiencing much more serious afflictions than I am: those who might otherwise be in abject despair.  When life feels dark, persecution closes in, and death seems to knock on every door, Paul reminds his readers that there is hope.  But more importantly, Paul reminds us that power is not from us.  It is all about God and this provides some hope to people who see darkness everywhere.  Light is still present.  God will prevail; we who follow God keep witnessing to that light above all else and in all situations.  God will prevail.

 

This realization turns me back to more minor problems and to Jesus' call to be perfect.  Yes, I should laugh - especially at myself, if I think that I'm going to attain this call to perfection through anything I do.  Jesus' call to perfection in the gospel reflects not only that God sets high standards for his followers, but also is the impetus for our seeking God, and God alone.

 

Richard Rohr, author of a book called Soul Brothers, writes: "We clearly come to God not by doing it right but ironically by doing it wrong." Only when we give up not only our failings, but also all the good we think we do, can we truly rely on God.  Our reliance on God gives God the perfect opportunities to work in and through us.

 

Today, let us pray for the grace to remember that when we are wrong, it is a chance to come to know God more deeply.  

 

- Jana M. Bennett