Feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul, Apostle
Do we believe people can change? A recent Harvard study of 19,000 people <http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2013/01/your-elusive-future-self.html> suggests the answer is "yes and no." Researchers asked questions about peoples' current preferences and how they'd describe themselves now. Then the researchers asked them to answer as they think they would have a decade ago, and as they think they would answer 10 years from now.
The study showed that people overwhelmingly acknowledged their tastes and personalities have changed from 10 years ago, but they are far less likely to believe they'll change in the future.
While the Harvard researchers expressed surprise at this discrepancy (and had some difficulty accounting for that discrepancy) I must admit I am not all that surprised. For one thing, it's simply difficult to imagine how things could be different than they are today; it's much easier to remember what has already happened.
That said, I think the study supports what today's feast day and scriptures celebrate. We ought to be much more mindful and hopeful about the fact that we do change - and we're very likely to change in the future.
People do change - and in surprising ways. The first reading (Acts 22:3-16) tells the story of Paul's conversion: from a very law-abiding Jewish man who hated Christians, to becoming a Christian himself. This is just one of those times when I think God has a good sense of humor - it's just too crazy to think that Saul, Christian-hater, would himself become a Christian. Clearly Paul is worried about this. After all, why would Christians embrace a man who has been perscuting them hard for years?
This reminds me a bit of office politics or the high school bully. Would you embrace a person who has hated you, taunted you, perhaps even physically harmed you - but who one day, out of the blue, says he's had a conversion? You'd probably think there's some cruel joke going on, that he's using a purported conversion in order to do even more damage to you. So Paul knows he's got an uphill battle to fight in terms of convincing people he's really converted. This is why Ananias is so important to this story: Ananias is a devout Christian who determines that Paul's conversion is true. More than that, it is on the word of Ananias that Paul's conversion even happens.
Today's gospel reading (Mark 16:15-18) speaks about the need to proclaim the gospel to everyone. And part of proclaiming the gospel, I think, is proclaiming the good news that all of us is capable of receiving God's love and making a lasting conversion toward that love. That's a message of hope to a world that needs it. So - we should all be like Ananias. We have a lot of power - more than we think - to help people think better about each other. We have a lot of power to help people believe in conversions - and therefore we have a lot of power to help people believe in the hope of God.
There have been many instances over the years where I've encountered peoples' anger, even hatred, and sometimes violence. I've always appreciated the Ananiases who would hear me complain about the violence-causers and then would tell me a different story: a story about how the person who was the object of my scrutiny was a cancer patient and angry at God, or that they were taking anger management classes. Sometimes the Anaiases in my life would also call me out and tell me that I was thinking myself too perfect in that situation.
So on this feast of St. Paul's Conversion, let us remember our own conversions and have hope in God's grace for us and let us proclaim that to the world.
- Jana M. Bennett