Today’s gospel passage (John 16: 16-20) reminds me of a time with my children when they were younger.  I was preparing to leave for a weeklong trip out of the country, the longest and furthest I had ever been away from them, and they needed some reassurance.  They had some questions and didn’t fully understand my leaving.  I tried to explain where I was going, although since they had never been out of the country, or even flown on a plane, it was difficult for them to grasp.  I tried to reassure them that I would be back, that they would see me again in a little while, but they felt anxious about my departure, possibly unsure about my return, and they asked if they could come with me.  I tried to prepare them the best I could, but it was a new experience for them that they didn’t fully understand and certainly weren’t happy about what may have seemed to them like being abandoned.

 

The disciples remind me of my children back then in their uncertainty, questions and anxiety as Jesus talks to them and tries to prepare them for his “leaving” them for awhile before his death and resurrection.  Jesus of John’s gospel tells them, “A little while and you will no longer see me, and again a little while later and you will see me.”  This was a completely new experience for them that they didn’t understand at the time.  Jesus tried to reassure them, explaining that although they will weep and mourn and grieve, “Your grief will become joy.” (Joy with the resurrection and then again later when Jesus sends the Holy Spirit to be with them after his ascension.)  I imagine that, initially, the disciples felt confused and abandoned until Jesus began appearing to them post-resurrection. 

 

Although we have the advantage of hindsight, rather than having to wait to see how it turns out, as did the disciples at that time, don’t we still sometimes feel abandoned by God?  I know I struggle at times with trusting that God is really here with me, that God has not abandoned me.  Or when a loved one dies, don’t the questions arise: Can’t I go with you?  Will I ever see you again?  That’s when our faith and trust can be most challenged, but is also, I believe, when God’s Spirit is closest.  When we are most in need, God does not abandon us, will not leave us orphan.  As in today’s gospel acclamation verse (from John 14:18), “I will not leave you orphans, says the Lord: I will come back to you, and your hearts will rejoice.”

 

Just as my children rejoiced at my homecoming, and the disciples rejoiced in seeing the risen Christ, may we also trust and rejoice in God’s constant love for us and closeness to us through the Holy Spirit, and look forward to one day rejoicing with those who have gone before us into God’s loving embrace.

 

-Eileen Miller